Slovenia – Ginger Spice in headphones and a frock. Drum n bass meets a violin, with helium-inspired vocals. I like it!
France – La chanson Francaise elle est marveillieuse. Spelling! Grammar! Ironic title I suspect, but she can belt it out fine and I like it.
Israel – 16 years old, very mature-looking goldenboy with an appealing voice, and I like the bits where the N’Sync-ish dancepop morphs into ethnic hebrew rhythms
Estonia – boy/girl, the song’s not bad actually, but the shaky performance from the male singer knocks it back a tad, and it’s just a bit wishy washy, but good.
UK – flawless vocal performance, great presentation, engaging and different. Fab. Such online hatred for it though from UK fans. Unfairly, at worst it’s forgettably pleasant. I think it’s terrifically retro.
Armenia – Bit of a Greek-Chorus going on (in the Greek Lit sense) costume wise, who all contribute to much wailing. All a bit bizarre!
Lithuania – A skirt of many colours. Another duo. A bit of uptempo country fiddling disguises a bland song. Not very well.
Serbia – Big woman, big voice, big finish. Camp as a row of drama queen tents in a big beats festival. The second half is fab.
Norway – Good singer, pretty tune – till Veronica Lake adds her two-pennorth. Impresses as it goes on actually, pretty good.
Sweden – Great staging, Avicii/Guetta-inspired dancepop taking a leaf out of Loreen’s winning-book. Being easy on the eye doesn’t hurt, either. Bloody excellent!
Cyprus – Euro-fan mate Hass’ interview on youtube with John, ahh he so sweet-natured and sensible. The gentleness of the song, and especially without the obligatory rousing climax, is most welcome.
Australia – Oh I wish they were in it every year! Guy is a fab singer in a Bruno Mars groove, and this is a proper pop song, sounding credible, good quality and a fab performance.
Belgium – Lorde-inspired alternative EDM-pop (genre-wise), inspiringly different and written and sung by a 19-year-old who has a nap half-way through. Unusual, classy, great hook, great staging, good singing. Fab!
Austria – 70’s rock throwbacks in the old sense of the word (poprock) complete with long hair and a song. Where’s a fire extinguisher when you need one. I like it.
Greece – long-hair, female, sparkly dress, it can only be a Celine Dion moment. Let’s wait and see. Oh, yes, here comes that wind-machine and the OTT volume-raising at the end. Pass!
Montenegro – The ethnic instruments, the non-English lyrics, a good singer, and a good song all have to compete with Botoxism. Which will win?
Germany – Cat-suit – is it Selina Kyle? Hate the hair-bun and the winking, though the shuffling souldance groove is most welcome. Wot! Ella Eyre wrote this?! She’s a hot UK songwriter/hitmaker, no wonder it sounded good [NB voters have cloth-ears obviously, the UK could do with using it’s hot young songwriters for Eurovision!]
Poland – Points for perseverance in the face of adversity. I approve of the sentiment and everything about it…but I feel mean finding it a bit forgettable and a bit off-key. Now I feel guilty!
Latvia – FKA-Twigs-inspired (as I’m sure all you trend-followers spotted!) this has credibility and 2015 written all over it, VERY cool and I love it, I love the lack of cliches, the EDM sounds (Electronic dance music is THE sound of the teenies decade) and a great singer.
Romania – a giant-diamond-encrusted scarab beetle seems to have perched on his throat. It’s a worthy song that isn’t sickening, nor is it forgettable, but it’s not a winner, just pleasant.
Spain – Lady In Red. Spanish lady. Then in white. Good singer but not as good as the recorded version, comes over a bit anti-climactic, ironically.
Hungary – Like the astronomy backdrop. Worthy and dreary. A good tune never hurts a message song, and this has not a good tune.
Georgia – Lily Munster in hotpants, crossed with a bit of Hawkwoman. Thumping rock chick drama though. great drums. Striking and a great performance.
Azerbaijan – I hate distracting mimes. The singer thinks he’s Neo in the Matrix. He’s not bad actually, but it’s also worthy and dull.
Russia – Tipped to win despite politics, it’s yet another worthy ballad, but less ploddy and more rousing. A bit shrill for me, I don’t get it’s popularity…
Albania – Another plodding ballad, but this time not worthy. In every sense of the word. I was annoyed this drivel qualified over the fab Denmark in semi 1. So in a strop I called her a shrieking harpy. I suppose I should revise that as it was a bit unfair and I was in a bad mood…
Italy – Il Divo. There are so many of these handsome young male operatic/pop crossover groups on the hotel circuit these days, it’s a virtual Italian industry. Great singers though, they piss over half the so-called singers in the competition. fab!
My rating on the night:
5.Italy (3rd – or 1st in the televote only, yes they wuz robbed by the panels!)
7.Germany (26th Nul points!)
So how did the others do?
That is officially the most in-tune I have ever been with Eurovision, and UK itunes sales seem to agree with the results, with the notable exception of Italy who are much lower.