My May-July 2020 Charts

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Where I should be today, had coronavirus not been a thing….Playa Del Ingles, Gran Canaria

 

24th May 2020

It’s 2 weeks on top for Ben Dolic, heading a Eurovision top 4, half of the top 10, and almost quarter of the top 40 – whichever you look at it, that makes the biggest Eurovision on my charts – EVER! Ironic that it’s the Contest That Never Was. What a ridiculous decision not to play the entries in full on the night! I predict 2021 will be a complete letdown of second-rate tracks as the chances of all the great tracks being equalled must be quite low! Anyway, Ben is the 13th Eurovision chart-topper, starting with Dana in 1970, New Seekers, 1972, Abba 1974, Teach-In 1975 and then a huge gap until 1995 Love City Groove, 2009 Alexander Rybak, 2010 Chane & N’Evergreen and also Paula Selig & OVI, 2011 Getter Jaani, 2014 Molly, 2018 Saara Alto, 2019 Duncan Laurence. 6 of them were contest winners, 7 of them weren’t. Only 3 UK entries have ever topped my chart – though Sandie Shaw would have had I been charting then, as well.

Robin Schulz has a big climb into the 10, his first 6 years on from his debut, Neil Young returns to the top 10 28 years on with Harvest Moon, The 1975 finally get a top 40 track, Hurts get yet another, ditto Cher who gets a 2nd Abba track into the 40, and Huey Lewis top 40 for the first time since 1986!

New entries from Gaga & Ariana joined up, in at 60, Jonas Brothers returning, Galantis & faouzia both following up tracks higher up in the chart, but joining together this time, and The Wailers return Bob-Marley-less, but keep it in the family with Skip Marley following up on his Katy Perry chart-topper, and Cedella Marley, grandson and daughter of the late Bob. Shaggy is also along for the ride for his 27 years of charting. I’m assuming the only member of The Wailers present is Aston Barrett who still tours under the name with family members, and who backed Marley from 1974 through 1980, and so is back with new material for the first time in 40 years, and has a span of 45 years now. The other absentee back after a decade away is Mary J. Blige, some 28 years since her debut, more recently seen in a fab role on fab Netflix series The Umbrella Academy – a hard ass ruthless pissed-off time travelling hit-person. Not typecast!

1 1 1 2 VIOLENT THING Ben Dolic 340000
2 2 2 2 ALL OF MY LOVE Destiny & B.O.K. 230000
3 8 3 2 MOVE The Mamas 133000
4 3 3 2 TEARS GETTING SOBER VICTORIA 150000
5 4 2 5 THE LAKE Galantis & Wrabel 420000
6 6 1 9 LEVITATING Dua Lipa 937100
7 28 7 2 IN YOUR EYES Robin Schulz featuring Alida 68300
8 16 8 2 UNIVERSO Blas Canto 73000
9 5 1 3 THE MODEL Kraftwerk 275000
10 13 10 11 HARVEST MOON Neil Young 192650

11 7 7 5 SECRETS Regard & Raye 135600
12 12 1 13 SAY SO Doja Cat 889600
13 11 5 11 CAUTION The Killers 436550
14 10 2 9 BREAK MY HEART Dua Lipa 513400
15 20 15 2 LEFT OUT IN THE COLD Sparks 47000
16 30 16 2 FAI RUMORE Diodato 43000
17 14 2 15 NO TIME TO DIE Billie Eilish 795500
18 19 18 2 YES Ben Tan featuring B-OK 43000
19 9 7 3 GOLDEN BROWN The Stranglers 116000
20 39 20 3 PEOPLE ON THE HIGH LINE (RICHARD X RADIO EDIT) New Order 43100

21 21 12 8 I’LL WAIT Kygo & Sasha Sloan 158300
22 29 22 2 LAWNMOWER Sparks 37700
23 18 10 10 WHO I AM Melanie C 251750
24 38 24 4 IN A ROCKET Beoga & Lissie 48200
25 26 25 6 LEAN ON ME UB40 featuring Ali Campbell & Astro 83150
26 15 9 9 DANCING NEXT TO ME Greyson Chance 231900
27 36 27 2 THINK ABOUT THINGS Daoi Freyr 35800
28 17 17 6 WHO YOU LOVIN’ LEON 95750
29 47 29 5 IF YOU’RE TOO SHY (LET ME KNOW) The 1975 57600
30 35 30 3 NICE ‘N’ SLEAZY The Stranglers 47500

31 22 17 9 ANTISOCIAL SOCIALITES Kyan Palmer, nicopop & Yuri Joness 151700
32 40 32 2 ON FIRE The Roop 34800
33 31 19 9 IN YOUR EYES The Weeknd 117400
34 27 1 16 TEARS OF GOLD Faouzia 1049000
35 57 35 2 VOICES Hurts 27900
36 54 36 3 CHIQUITITA (SPANISH VERSION) Cher 38600
37 24 6 12 MISTAKES Jonas Blue & Paloma Faith 345000
38 84 38 2 WHILE WE’RE YOUNG Huey Lewis & The News 20400
39 53 39 4 SAVED MY LIFE Sia 39350
40 23 7 16 I DON’T WANNA Pet Shop Boys 305800

41 25 14 9 SPOTLIGHT Jessie Ware 169800
42 34 9 12 MURPHY’S LAW Roisin Murphy 298900
43 48 43 3 NO MORE HEROES The Stranglers 33300
44 32 4 13 THE WHOLE 9 Marina Kaye 445900
45 41 34 5 LIVING IN A GHOST TOWN The Rolling Stones 64100
46 52 46 3 AUTOBAHN Kraftwerk 34850
47 56 47 2 ALL THAT Sparks 23100
48 62 48 3 STUCK WITH U Ariana Grande & Justin Bieber 26900
49 37 37 6 HARD TIMES FOR LOVERS Rumer 67150
50 74 50 3 LEVEL OF CONCERN Twenty One Pilots 22400

51 55 51 5 DIAGNOSIS Alanis Morrissette 44750
52 60 52 3 NOTHING LEFT BUT FAMILY Rebecca Ferguson featuring Nile Rodgers 31500
53 90 53 2 BE KIND Marshmello & Halsey 13250
54 33 11 12 LOST AT SEA Cashier No.9 270850
55 43 36 5 NEW BOY Pet Shop Boys 70750
56 42 15 12 WHO Lauv featuring BTS 193750
57 67 57 3 STRANGERS IN THE STREET The Fratellis featuring P.P. Arnold 23600
58 66 58 6 JUST THE TWO OF US Grover Washington Jr & Bill Withers 41000
59 44 6 14 MODERN LONELINESS Lauv 372350
60 NEW 60 1 RAIN ON ME Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande 10000

61 45 24 8 HOLD ON, WE’RE GOING HOME Nerina Pallot 102400
62 58 1 25 BLINDING LIGHTS The Weeknd 1432250
63 NEW 63 1 NHS70 Only Sun 7200
64 NEW 64 1 SUMMER FEELINGS Lennon Stella featuring Charlie Puth 7100
65 70 65 3 MY BOY LOLLIPOP Millie 18400
66 59 53 5 TIMES LIKE THESE Live Lounge Allstars 41150
67 46 35 9 LIMITLESS Richard Marx 85650
68 71 68 3 BRAZIL Doves 18000
69 49 27 9 STORM The Fizz 88000
70 NEW 70 1 X Jonas Brothers featuring KAROL G 6000

71 61 61 5 THE BUZZ Pretenders 32600
72 86 72 2 FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH Buffalo Springfield 8400
73 92 73 2 LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE Ronan Keating 7200
74 NEW 74 1 I FLY Galantis featuring Faouzia 5200
75 75 1 39 NOBODY ELSE The S.L.P. 1289500
76 87 76 2 ISN’T SHE LOVELY Stevie Wonder 7000
77 80 77 2 HALLELUJAH Milk and Honey 8600
78 NEW 78 1 ONE WORLD, ONE PRAYER The Wailers featuring Skip Marley, Farruko, Shaggy & Cedella Marley 4400
79 95 79 2 DAISIES Katy Perry 5700
80 NEW 80 1 POLAROID Keith Urban 4000

81 89 81 2 BIG LOG Robert Plant 6000
82 NEW 82 1 FINGERTIPS Tom Gregory 3600
83 51 33 9 RESERVATION The Fizz 75300
84 NEW 84 1 WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBOURHOOD (LEBROCK REMIX) Boston Manor featuring LeBrock 3200
85 93 85 2 WHERE IS THE LOVE Betty Wright 4700
86 NEW 86 1 FET HOUSE MODE Rebecca & Fiona 2800
87 94 87 2 CLEOPATRA Efendi 4200
88 NEW 88 1 BLACK AND WHITE Niail Horan 2400
89 NEW 89 1 EL TEJANO Lauv featuring Sofia Reyes 2200
90 65 39 6 IF YOU THINK THIS IS REAL LIFE Blossoms 55050

91 96 91 2 TOP OF THE WORLD Carpenters 3300
92 50 12 11 GOLIATH Smith & Thell 183050
93 97 93 2 SUPERGIRL Stefania 3000
94 NEW 94 1 HURT BY YOU Donna Missal 1600
95 99 95 2 UNO Little Big 2600
96 NEW 96 1 TIME TO SAY GOODBYE (LIVE) Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli 1400
97 98 97 2 SHOORAH! SHOORAH! Betty Wright 2500
98 NEW 98 1 CAN’T BE LIFE Mary J. Blige 1200
99 100 99 2 CLEAN-UP WOMAN Betty Wright 2100
100 NEW 100 1 FAIRYTALE Alexander Rybak 1000

DROP OUTS
63 29 7 THE MAN Taylor Swift 84500
64 25 8 BLUE SKIES Music from Star Trek: Picard featuring Isa Briones 121300
68 18 14 LA VIE EN ROSE Louis Armstrong 204250
69 57 8 GHOST TOWN The Specials 58600
72 23 11 SOMETIMES Kodaline 130550
73 42 5 I LOVE YOU NOW CHANGE Twinnie 46550
76 40 9 FREAKS Fisher 76650
77 46 5 I CONTAIN MULTITUDES Bob Dylan 38550
78 43 5 THE GREATEST James Blunt 47400
79 54 4 HOUSE PARTY New Kids On The Block featuring BoyzIIMen, Big Freedia, Naughty By Nature & Jordin Sparks 27700
81 19 11 ALL OF THE FEELINGS Kiesza 172500
82 1 15 I’M GONNA LOVE YOU JUST A LITTLE MORE BABY Barry White 1289150
83 30 10 KINGS & QUEENS Ava Max 103550
85 2 15 HALFWAY James Blunt featuring Ward Thomas 533550
88 3 16 THERAPY Duke Dumont featuring Sharlene Hector 551300
91 24 11 LOOK AFTER YOU Aron Wright 128950

 

 

17th May 2020

It’s a first week on top, and new entry, from the German Eurovision entry Ben Dolic, a frantic fab disco rattling tune, just ahead of Malta’s Destiny diva dance tune new in at 2, and Bulgaria’s Billie-Eilish-alike Victoria new at 3 with her gorgeous strings-swept ballad. There’s never been a Eurovision 1,2,3 entering my charts ever before, so that’s a reflection of how good this year’s Eurovision would have been had the numpties allowed a public vote on the official videos, which would have crowned quirky Iceland as the winner (new in at 36). That’s not all, we have Sweden in at 8, Spain with Legion Of Super-Heroes villain namechecking Universo at 16, Denmark at 19, Italy at 30, Lithuania at 40, Azerbaijan at 94, Greece at 97 with Legion Of Super-Heroes member Supergirl in song, and Russia at 99. So many I’ve been forced to expand my chart to 100, and loads of tracks that would be climbing instead drop!

The other mini-invasion is from Sparks new A Steady Drip Drip Drip album, proving that the boys still have it in spades some 46 years since debuting instantly at 2 in my charts with This Town Ain’t Big Enough For Both Of Us. Proving they are as good as ever, and following up album chart-topping track Please Don’t Fuck Up My World, and I’m Toast, we have Left Out In The Cold at 20, new single Lawnmower at 29, and All That at 56.

Betty Wright also stages a mini-invasion 45 years since she debuted with two of the tracks listed, following her sad death: Shoorah Shoorah, and Where Is The Love, and her big 1971 US hit Clean-Up Woman while still very much a teenager. Amongst a chart of huge drops and new entries, a few tracks manage to climb big anyway: Beoga & Lissie, and New Order go top 40, and more low-key debuts include Hurts at 57 with Voices, not yet hitting the chart-topping heights of the previous album singles, and 1979 top 10 Hallelujah, Israel’s 1979 winner of Eurovision, after selling well following Saturday’s special TV show version featuring original singer Gali Atari, in at 80.

At 84, Huey Lewis gets his first chart entry in 26 years, that’s quite a gap! On the plus side it extends his chart career to 38 years or so, followed closely by a bunch of oldies selling well-enough to feature in the itunes top 200, Buffalo Springfield’s classic For What’s It Worth was never a UK hit in 1966 or since, despite featuring Neil Young in the line-up – also back at 13 with his 1992 great Harvest Moon – and never having charted for me before. Ditto Stevie Wonder’s album track Isn’t She Lovely, a 1977 inferior copycat chart-topper for David Parton, since Stevie refused to release it as a single, and Robert Plant’s fab 1983 Big Log after Led Zep were no more. Marshmello and Halsey team up at 90, Ronan Keating follows-up his recent duet, Katy Perry returns with some Daisies, and Carpenters’ 1973 Top Of The World pops back in 47 years later, 37 years after poor Karen died at 32. She’s now been gone longer than she was alive. Tragic.
1 NEW 1 1 VIOLENT THING Ben Dolic 170000
2 NEW 2 1 ALL OF MY LOVE Destiny & B.O.K. 115000
3 NEW 3 1 TEARS GETTING SOBER VICTORIA 85000
4 2 2 4 THE LAKE Galantis & Wrabel 360000
5 1 1 2 THE MODEL Kraftwerk 230000
6 3 1 8 LEVITATING Dua Lipa 882100
7 16 7 4 SECRETS Regard & Raye 98600
8 NEW 8 1 MOVE The Mamas 48000
9 7 7 2 GOLDEN BROWN The Stranglers 95000
10 4 2 8 BREAK MY HEART Dua Lipa 484400

11 5 5 10 CAUTION The Killers 404550
12 8 1 12 SAY SO Doja Cat 854600
13 18 13 10 HARVEST MOON Neil Young 150650
14 6 2 14 NO TIME TO DIE Billie Eilish 772500
15 9 9 8 DANCING NEXT TO ME Greyson Chance 213400
16 NEW 16 1 UNIVERSO Blas Canto 25000
17 25 17 5 WHO YOU LOVIN’ LEON 77450
18 10 10 9 WHO I AM Melanie C 232500
19 NEW 19 1 YES Ben Tan featuring B-OK 21000
20 NEW 20 1 LEFT OUT IN THE COLD Sparks 20000

21 12 12 7 I’LL WAIT Kygo & Sasha Sloan 138550
22 17 17 8 ANTISOCIAL SOCIALITES Kyan Palmer, nicopop & Yuri Joness 133800
23 11 7 15 I DON’T WANNA Pet Shop Boys 288800
24 13 6 11 MISTAKES Jonas Blue & Paloma Faith 331700
25 14 14 8 SPOTLIGHT Jessie Ware 155800
26 28 26 5 LEAN ON ME UB40 featuring Ali Campbell & Astro 64400
27 20 1 15 TEARS OF GOLD Faouzia 1031400
28 NEW 28 1 IN YOUR EYES Robin Schulz featuring Alida 18300
29 NEW 29 1 LAWNMOWER Sparks 18200
30 NEW 30 1 FAI RUMORE Diodato 18000

31 19 19 8 IN YOUR EYES The Weeknd 99700
32 21 4 12 THE WHOLE 9 Marina Kaye 432650
33 15 11 11 LOST AT SEA Cashier No.9 259850
34 23 9 11 MURPHY’S LAW Roisin Murphy 285150
35 50 35 2 NICE ‘N’ SLEAZY The Stranglers 29500
36 NEW 36 1 THINK ABOUT THINGS Daoi Freyr 17400
37 38 37 5 HARD TIMES FOR LOVERS Rumer 55050
38 69 38 3 IN A ROCKET Beoga & Lissie 29200
39 70 39 2 PEOPLE ON THE HIGH LINE (RICHARD X RADIO EDIT) New Order 23100
40 NEW 40 1 ON FIRE The Roop 17000

41 34 34 4 LIVING IN A GHOST TOWN The Rolling Stones 51100
42 30 15 11 WHO Lauv featuring BTS 183150
43 36 36 4 NEW BOY Pet Shop Boys 59950
44 26 6 13 MODERN LONELINESS Lauv 362250
45 24 24 7 HOLD ON, WE’RE GOING HOME Nerina Pallot 94900
46 35 35 8 LIMITLESS Richard Marx 79150
47 48 47 4 IF YOU’RE TOO SHY (LET ME KNOW) The 1975 39400
48 61 48 2 NO MORE HEROES The Stranglers 19800
49 27 27 8 STORM The Fizz 81800
50 29 12 10 GOLIATH Smith & Thell 181250

51 33 33 8 RESERVATION The Fizz 71900
52 56 52 2 AUTOBAHN Kraftwerk 22100
53 72 53 3 SAVED MY LIFE Sia 22250
54 58 54 2 CHIQUITITA (SPANISH VERSION) Cher 21200
55 55 55 4 DIAGNOSIS Alanis Morrissette 33000
56 NEW 56 1 ALL THAT Sparks 10600
57 NEW 57 1 VOICES Hurts 10400
58 49 1 24 BLINDING LIGHTS The Weeknd 1424850
59 53 53 4 TIMES LIKE THESE Live Lounge Allstars 34350
60 60 60 2 NOTHING LEFT BUT FAMILY Rebecca Ferguson featuring Nile Rodgers 20000

61 62 61 4 THE BUZZ Pretenders 26800
62 63 62 2 STUCK WITH U Ariana Grande & Justin Bieber 14600
63 32 29 7 THE MAN Taylor Swift 84500
64 31 25 8 BLUE SKIES Music from Star Trek: Picard featuring Isa Briones 121300
65 39 39 5 IF YOU THINK THIS IS REAL LIFE Blossoms 53050
66 66 66 5 JUST THE TWO OF US Grover Washington Jr & Bill Withers 30800
67 67 67 2 STRANGERS IN THE STREET The Fratellis featuring P.P. Arnold 13200
68 22 18 14 LA VIE EN ROSE Louis Armstrong 204250
69 57 57 8 GHOST TOWN The Specials 58600
70 73 70 2 MY BOY LOLLIPOP Millie 11400

71 71 71 2 BRAZIL Doves 11600
72 37 23 11 SOMETIMES Kodaline 130550
73 42 42 5 I LOVE YOU NOW CHANGE Twinnie 46550
74 74 74 2 LEVEL OF CONCERN Twenty One Pilots 10400
75 68 1 38 NOBODY ELSE The S.L.P. 1284500
76 40 40 9 FREAKS Fisher 76650
77 46 46 5 I CONTAIN MULTITUDES Bob Dylan 38550
78 43 43 5 THE GREATEST James Blunt 47400
79 54 54 4 HOUSE PARTY New Kids On The Block featuring BoyzIIMen, Big Freedia, Naughty By Nature & Jordin Sparks 27700
80 NEW 80 1 HALLELUJAH Milk and Honey 4000

81 44 19 11 ALL OF THE FEELINGS Kiesza 172500
82 47 1 15 I’M GONNA LOVE YOU JUST A LITTLE MORE BABY Barry White 1289150
83 45 30 10 KINGS & QUEENS Ava Max 103550
84 NEW 84 1 WHILE WE’RE YOUNG Huey Lewis & The News 3200
85 51 2 15 HALFWAY James Blunt featuring Ward Thomas 533550
86 NEW 86 1 FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH Buffalo Springfield 2800
87 NEW 87 1 ISN’T SHE LOVELY Stevie Wonder 2600
88 59 3 16 THERAPY Duke Dumont featuring Sharlene Hector 551300
89 NEW 89 1 BIG LOG Robert Plant 2200
90 NEW 90 1 BE KIND Marshmello & Halsey 2000

91 41 24 11 LOOK AFTER YOU Aron Wright 128950
92 NEW 92 1 LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE Ronan Keating 1800
93 NEW 93 1 WHERE IS THE LOVE Betty Wright 1700
94 NEW 94 1 CLEOPATRA Efendi 1600
95 NEW 95 1 DAISIES Katy Perry 1500
96 NEW 96 1 TOP OF THE WORLD Carpenters 1400
97 NEW 97 1 SUPERGIRL Stefania 1300
98 NEW 98 1 SHOORAH SHOORAH Betty Wright 1200
99 NEW 99 1 UNO Little Big 1100
100 NEW 100 1 CLEAN-UP WOMAN Betty Wright 1000

DROP OUTS
52 39 7 BOYFRIEND Mabel 64900
64 59 4 LIGHT OF LOVE Florence + The Machine 27400
65 9 11 THE OTHER SIDE SZA, Justin Timberlake 275600
75 75 1 TUTTI FRUTTI Little Richard 5000

 

 

10th May 2020

it’s straight in at 1 for Kraftwerk, following the loss of Ralf Hutter in a terrible week or so for veteran pop star losses: The Model was originally released in it’s German-language version in 1978, but didn’t get to chart in the UK until this English-language version was released in 1981 on the B side of Computer Love. The Model got the airplay, and topped the UK charts in early 1982 and peaked at 2 in my charts, and belatedly now tops my chart 39-years later, cos it’s fab. Autobahn is also back 45 years since it went top 10 in all it’s ground-breaking glory. Also in the charts at the same time as The Model was Golden Brown, The Stranglers most-famous track, which hit UK 2 and also fell-short of topping my chart until a 90’s re-issue did the trick. Following the loss of co-writer & keyboardist extraordinaire Dave Greenfield to coronavirus it’s back in the top 10 for a third occasion, along with No More Heroes, a fab punk anthem that charted in 1977 as I started uni, in at 61, and Nice ‘n’ Sleazy at 50 from 1978. I could easily have charted many others of their long list of great singles though…

Inside the 40, Regard and Raye climb briskly into the top 20, shhh it’s a Secret, while The Rolling Stones get a first top 40 for 8 years with the lockdown anthem, Rumer returns to the top 40, and Blossoms make it a 4th, and Fisher Freaks out at 40 as the original Le Freak returns at 60 with Rebecca Ferguson, her 5th chart entry some 7 years since her last one, and Nile Rodgers umpteenth to extend his run to over 42 years. Highest new track is Cher’s Spanish-language UNICEF-charity cover of Chiquitita, a sensitive cover of Abba’s UNICEF-profiting original from 1979 – she’s not the oldest-charting living female-singer with original material (that’s Doris Day aged 89 in 2011 – but it was originally recorded in the 80’s) so at 73 technically she pips Doris as oldest female with newly-recorded-new-material, and extends her run of solo charted entries to 49 years (or 55 years had I been charting in 1965, I adored I Got You Babe as a kid).

Another charity track by Ariana & Justin pops in at 63, Stuck With U giving Ms Grande 6 years of activity and Mr Bieber 8 years. The Fratellis comeback extends to 2 with a bit of an assist from minor soul-legend P.P. Arnold still on form on her second track of her rebirth after her first comebacks on dance tracks of the 80’s and 90’s from her original chart-runs in 1968, just predating my charts. New Order pop in with single remix of a 2010’s album track that I’d missed, Doves are back with Brazil, 11-years absent, to give them a 7th chart entry and an 18-year run. Finally Millie Small’s My Boy Lollipop returns to the chart over 30-years since it went top 10, following her passing, but young Millie’s fab-ska classic was an obsession by 6-year-old me back in 1964, so might as well say it was a chart-topper 56 years ago. Little Richard also died this week, the influential rock ‘n’ roll revolutionary charted for me right into the late 80’s, but his 1955 showstopping debut Tutti Frutti has never charted before, so it pops in as tribute 65 years late.

1 NEW 1 1 THE MODEL Kraftwerk 170000
2 2 2 3 THE LAKE Galantis & Wrabel 295000
3 1 1 7 LEVITATING Dua Lipa 827100
4 3 2 7 BREAK MY HEART Dua Lipa 442400
5 6 5 9 CAUTION The Killers 367550
6 4 2 13 NO TIME TO DIE Billie Eilish 743500
7 NEW 7 1 GOLDEN BROWN The Stranglers 50000
8 5 1 11 SAY SO Doja Cat 819600
9 9 9 7 DANCING NEXT TO ME Greyson Chance 186400
10 10 10 8 WHO I AM Melanie C 210500

11 7 7 14 I DON’T WANNA Pet Shop Boys 269550
12 12 12 6 I’LL WAIT Kygo & Sasha Sloan 118800
13 8 6 10 MISTAKES Jonas Blue & Paloma Faith 312700
14 15 14 7 SPOTLIGHT Jessie Ware 137050
15 11 11 10 LOST AT SEA Cashier No.9 242150
16 38 16 3 SECRETS Regard & Raye 48600
17 17 17 7 ANTISOCIAL SOCIALITES Kyan Palmer, nicopop & Yuri Joness 114300
18 27 18 9 HARVEST MOON Neil Young 118650
19 20 19 7 IN YOUR EYES The Weeknd 81800
20 14 1 14 TEARS OF GOLD Faouzia 1013000

21 13 4 11 THE WHOLE 9 Marina Kaye 414850
22 18 18 13 LA VIE EN ROSE Louis Armstrong 197850
23 16 9 10 MURPHY’S LAW Roisin Murphy 267550
24 26 24 6 HOLD ON, WE’RE GOING HOME Nerina Pallot 81900
25 36 25 4 WHO YOU LOVIN’ LEON 54450
26 19 6 12 MODERN LONELINESS Lauv 349000
27 28 27 7 STORM The Fizz 69700
28 40 28 4 LEAN ON ME UB40 featuring Ali Campbell & Astro 45900
29 21 12 9 GOLIATH Smith & Thell 169250
30 22 15 10 WHO Lauv featuring BTS 169400

31 25 25 7 BLUE SKIES Music from Star Trek: Picard featuring Isa Briones 114200
32 29 29 6 THE MAN Taylor Swift 77300
33 33 33 7 RESERVATION The Fizz 60150
34 48 34 3 LIVING IN A GHOST TOWN The Rolling Stones 37100
35 35 35 7 LIMITLESS Richard Marx 66400
36 37 36 3 NEW BOY Pet Shop Boys 46450
37 23 23 10 SOMETIMES Kodaline 124950
38 42 38 3 HARD TIMES FOR LOVERS Rumer 37750
39 46 39 4 IF YOU THINK THIS IS REAL LIFE Blossoms 46050
40 53 40 8 FREAKS Fisher 71850

41 24 24 10 LOOK AFTER YOU Aron Wright 127050
42 52 42 4 I LOVE YOU NOW CHANGE Twinnie 41150
43 43 43 4 THE GREATEST James Blunt 43000
44 31 19 10 ALL OF THE FEELINGS Kiesza 168700
45 30 30 9 KINGS & QUEENS Ava Max 100150
46 54 46 4 I CONTAIN MULTITUDES Bob Dylan 33950
47 32 1 14 I’M GONNA LOVE YOU JUST A LITTLE MORE BABY Barry White 1285550
48 56 48 3 IF YOU’RE TOO SHY (LET ME KNOW) The 1975 26900
49 49 1 23 BLINDING LIGHTS The Weeknd 1414650
50 NEW 50 1 NICE ‘N’ SLEAZY The Stranglers 12000

51 34 2 14 HALFWAY James Blunt featuring Ward Thomas 530550
52 39 39 7 BOYFRIEND Mabel 64900
53 62 53 3 TIMES LIKE THESE Live Lounge Allstars 24250
54 61 54 3 HOUSE PARTY New Kids On The Block featuring BoyzIIMen, Big Freedia, Naughty By Nature & Jordin Sparks 23500
55 63 55 3 DIAGNOSIS Alanis Morrissette 22200
56 NEW 56 1 AUTOBAHN Kraftwerk 10600
57 60 57 7 GHOST TOWN The Specials 52400
58 NEW 58 1 CHIQUITITA (SPANISH VERSION) Cher 10200
59 50 3 15 THERAPY Duke Dumont featuring Sharlene Hector 548900
60 NEW 60 1 NOTHING LEFT BUT FAMILY Rebecca Ferguson featuring Nile Rodgers 10000

61 NEW 61 1 NO MORE HEROES The Stranglers 7500
62 64 62 3 THE BUZZ Pretenders 19300
63 NEW 63 1 STUCK WITH U Ariana Grande & Justin Bieber 7200
64 59 59 4 LIGHT OF LOVE Florence + The Machine 27400
65 41 9 11 THE OTHER SIDE SZA, Justin Timberlake 275600
66 69 66 4 JUST THE TWO OF US Grover Washington Jr & Bill Withers 24000
67 NEW 67 1 STRANGERS IN THE STREET The Fratellis featuring P.P. Arnold 6600
68 68 1 37 NOBODY ELSE The S.L.P. 1279500
69 71 69 2 IN A ROCKET Beoga & Lissie 12000
70 NEW 70 1 PEOPLE ON THE HIGH LINE (RICHARD X RADIO EDIT) New Order 6000

71 NEW 71 1 BRAZIL Doves 5800
72 73 72 2 SAVED MY LIFE Sia 11000
73 NEW 73 1 MY BOY LOLLIPOP Millie 5400
74 NEW 74 1 LEVEL OF CONCERN Twenty One Pilots 5200
75 NEW 75 1 TUTTI FRUTTI Little Richard 5000

DROP OUTS
44 32 8 CRASHING Illenium featuring Bahari 105800
45 25 7 LIMITLESS Bon Jovi 86450
47 47 9 MAMA Genesis 92200
51 36 7 THROW MY BONES Deep Purple 79950
55 39 8 I’M TOAST Sparks 71800
57 57 6 I LOVE YOU’S Hailee Steinfeld 29800
58 4 14 YOU ARE THE ONE Pet Shop Boys 459750
70 13 5 LEAN ON ME Bill Withers 108500
65 60 7 NO JUDGEMENT Niaill Horan 44600
66 10 12 ONE OF A KIND Ronan Keating & Emeli Sande 230850
67 8 14 PHYSICAL Dua Lipa 310350
72 72 4 THANK U VERY MUCH FOR THE NHS The Scaffold 17800
74 14 10 COME ON OUTSIDE Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds 152250
75 14 13 ROSES Adam Lambert & Nile Rodgers 239100

 

 

 

3rd May 2020

It’s a 4th week on top for Dua Lipa’s Levitating, as she drops one with Break My Heart to make a Lipa sandwich of Galantis & Wrabel’s The Lake, the new challenger to her throne. Melanie C gets an 8th top 10 in 22 years of solo entries and is starting to catch up on the Spice Girls total, The Fizz get a second track in this week’s top 40, one day I’ll count how many they’ve had in total, but it’s pretty much every single they released under the name Bucks Fizz and The Fizz, plus some recent album tracks!

One day I’ll also do the same for Pet Shop Boys and UB40, as I Don’t Wanna’s B side also enters the 40, and Ali Campbell’s cover of Lean On Me becomes his latest top 40 in 40 years-worth of them, and goes where Bill Withers went only 2 weeks ago, or 48 years ago, depending on how you look at it. Pet Shop Boys total of entries in my charts is likely to be higher than any other act – unless you count solo stuff from bands in with band totals in which case it’ll be The Beatles by a country mile, and maybe Abba will give them a good run too.

As I finally get my chart back down to a more-manageable 75 there are only 2 new entries: Lissie back In A Rocket with someone I don’t know, and Sia adding to her 20 years of charting. As I type this I should be somewhere over Portugal in an alternate universe where coronavirus didn’t happen, so I’ve just been been consoling myself that the ghost town of Playa Del Ingles in Gran Canaria is starting to wake up this morning on webcams, more activity going on, more traffic, more people going out – still no tourists, but the Canaries seem to be preparing for at least locals to be eased outside and things coming open again. I’ll try again in October, hopefully, if Tui get me the promised voucher to re-book through soon.

1 1 1 6 LEVITATING Dua Lipa 742100
2 4 2 2 THE LAKE Galantis & Wrabel 180000
3 2 2 6 BREAK MY HEART Dua Lipa 377400
4 3 2 12 NO TIME TO DIE Billie Eilish 688500
5 5 1 10 SAY SO Doja Cat 771600
6 6 5 8 CAUTION The Killers 307550
7 7 7 13 I DON’T WANNA Pet Shop Boys 232550
8 8 6 9 MISTAKES Jonas Blue & Paloma Faith 280700
9 12 9 6 DANCING NEXT TO ME Greyson Chance 141400
10 15 10 7 WHO I AM Melanie C 168500

11 11 11 9 LOST AT SEA Cashier No.9 215150
12 16 12 5 I’LL WAIT Kygo & Sasha Sloan 83800
13 9 4 10 THE WHOLE 9 Marina Kaye 395100
14 10 1 13 TEARS OF GOLD Faouzia 993000
15 17 15 6 SPOTLIGHT Jessie Ware 108050
16 13 9 9 MURPHY’S LAW Roisin Murphy 248300
17 20 17 6 ANTISOCIAL SOCIALITES Kyan Palmer, nicopop & Yuri Joness 91300
18 21 18 12 LA VIE EN ROSE Louis Armstrong 178350
19 18 6 11 MODERN LONELINESS Lauv 330500
20 24 20 6 IN YOUR EYES The Weeknd 60800

21 14 12 8 GOLIATH Smith & Thell 151050
22 19 15 9 WHO Lauv featuring BTS 151400
23 30 23 9 SOMETIMES Kodaline 107650
24 27 24 9 LOOK AFTER YOU Aron Wright 113050
25 25 25 6 BLUE SKIES Music from Star Trek: Picard featuring Isa Briones 96300
26 29 26 5 HOLD ON, WE’RE GOING HOME Nerina Pallot 62900
27 38 27 8 HARVEST MOON Neil Young 96650
28 35 28 6 STORM The Fizz 51300
29 33 29 5 THE MAN Taylor Swift 59500
30 34 30 8 KINGS & QUEENS Ava Max 87150

31 22 19 9 ALL OF THE FEELINGS Kiesza 155450
32 23 1 13 I’M GONNA LOVE YOU JUST A LITTLE MORE BABY Barry White 1273050
33 46 33 6 RESERVATION The Fizz 42450
34 26 2 13 HALFWAY James Blunt featuring Ward Thomas 518800
35 40 35 6 LIMITLESS Richard Marx 48900
36 49 36 3 WHO YOU LOVIN’ LEON 35700
37 51 37 2 NEW BOY Pet Shop Boys 29050
38 68 38 2 SECRETS Regard & Raye 23600
39 45 39 6 BOYFRIEND Mabel 53400
40 69 40 3 LEAN ON ME UB40 featuring Ali Campbell & Astro 27600

41 28 9 10 THE OTHER SIDE SZA, Justin Timberlake 268600
42 66 42 2 HARD TIMES FOR LOVERS Rumer 20550
43 54 43 3 THE GREATEST James Blunt 29500
44 32 32 8 CRASHING Illenium featuring Bahari 105800
45 31 25 7 LIMITLESS Bon Jovi 86450
46 56 46 3 IF YOU THINK THIS IS REAL LIFE Blossoms 28950
47 47 47 9 MAMA Genesis 92200
48 63 48 2 LIVING IN A GHOST TOWN The Rolling Stones 19500
49 41 1 22 BLINDING LIGHTS The Weeknd 1402550
50 37 3 14 THERAPY Duke Dumont featuring Sharlene Hector 538800

51 36 36 7 THROW MY BONES Deep Purple 79950
52 59 52 3 I LOVE YOU NOW CHANGE Twinnie 27400
53 58 53 7 FREAKS Fisher 54850
54 70 54 3 I CONTAIN MULTITUDES Bob Dylan 21200
55 39 39 8 I’M TOAST Sparks 71800
56 80 56 2 IF YOU’RE TOO SHY (LET ME KNOW) The 1975 14600
57 64 57 6 I LOVE YOU’S Hailee Steinfeld 29800
58 42 4 14 YOU ARE THE ONE Pet Shop Boys 459750
59 73 59 3 LIGHT OF LOVE Florence + The Machine 20300
60 62 60 6 GHOST TOWN The Specials 4200

61 75 61 2 HOUSE PARTY New Kids On The Block featuring BoyzIIMen, Big Freedia, Naughty By Nature & Jordin Sparks 12500
62 72 62 2 TIMES LIKE THESE Live Lounge Allstars 13000
63 79 63 2 DIAGNOSIS Alanis Morrissette 11400
64 76 64 2 THE BUZZ Pretenders 11900
65 60 60 7 NO JUDGEMENT Niaill Horan 44600
66 44 10 12 ONE OF A KIND Ronan Keating & Emeli Sande 230850
67 55 8 14 PHYSICAL Dua Lipa 310350
68 67 1 36 NOBODY ELSE The S.L.P. 1273100
69 71 69 3 JUST THE TWO OF US Grover Washington Jr & Bill Withers 17200
70 43 13 5 LEAN ON ME Bill Withers 108500

71 NEW 71 1 IN A ROCKET Beoga & Lissie 5800
72 77 72 4 THANK U VERY MUCH FOR THE NHS The Scaffold 17800
73 NEW 73 1 SAVED MY LIFE Sia 5400
74 53 14 10 COME ON OUTSIDE Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds 152250
75 65 14 13 ROSES Adam Lambert & Nile Rodgers 239100

DROP OUTS
48 23 6 YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE Gerry & The Pacemakers 92550
50 26 4 LOVELY DAY Bill Withers 66300
52 3 6 STAY Rihanna featuring Mikky Ekko 265700
57 25 6 100 WAYS Jackson Wang 86550
61 24 9 YOU SHOULD BE SAD Halsey 131350
74 64 6 IS EVERYBODY GOING CRAZY? Nothing But Thieves 34600
78 16 10 WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU The Avalanches featuring Blood Orange 161000

My Top 100 Abba Tracks Part 7: 40-31

OK, I didn’t do commentaries for all 100 or I’d never had got the list done. I genuinely love everything on the list increasingly as it goes on, but the top 40 is pretty much the cut-off what I especially A grade love to bits. Everyone knows the famous singles, but there’s more to Abba than those, and I especially love the darker side of Abba – their image is Mamma Mia fun-but-sad-happy, but I once planned a very dark follow-up musical to Mamma Mia using the darker songs with a dark tragic plot I was hoping to get Abba to think about, and then after the film success they went and did Mamma Mia 2 which sort of put the chance of it happening close to zero, so I didn’t bother working on the suggestion any more. Some of the songs that might work in a dark musical are in the top 40, though.

40. HAPPY NEW YEAR – ABBA (1980 Super Trouper album track and single in some territories)

This is classic Abba singalong and is still popular in some European countries each New Year, but sadly not in the UK as very annoyingly it wasn’t chosen as a single from an album that was packed with potential singles. They’d just had 2 number ones in a row, and then John Lennon was shot and that took over the musical world for the rest of 1980, it was such a shock. I still wonder if maybe they’d have released it at Christmas if that hadn’t happened ready for a New Year top 5 smash, which was virtually guaranteed at that phase of their career. Instead they delayed a 3rd single for months and missed the opportunity for another big hit. Abba’s UK record label did this constantly to my ongoing annoyance. Still tuneful, wistful, and lovely, and the only New Year’s song worth digging out each year that springs to my mind, unless you count U2’s New Year’s Day as a New Year track (which I don’t).

39. SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS – ABBA (1981 The Visitors album track)

Abba’s final album was their saddest and most adult, quite downbeat over-all and my least-favourite since Abba at the time, but time has been kind and it’s really rather fab. This, for example, was a song I liked but would never have singled-out particularly – not until I saw the Mamma Mia movie, and then it all clicked, it’s lovely, bittersweet, gentle and moving all at once. Understated often is an advantage in the long run.

38. I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU – ABBA (1974 Abba album track and B side)

Back at christmas 1974 I was big into Abba, as the rest of the UK seemed to fall out of love with them I was mad keen on So Long, their latest flop glamrock single, and this was the B side. Mellow Abba was something I wasn’t prepared for, I only could afford singles, usually from bargain baskets, and Abba’s singles had all been upbeat pop or rock tracks to date. Consequently I played it a few times, called it “nice” and forgot about it until I got hold of the Abba album in 1976 – at which point I was more dazzled by the poppier tracks I was discovering to pay attention to it much. Skip forward 30 years or so, and I saw this video I think, which brought the charms of the melody into sharp focus, and it was a goose-bump moment – how on Earth had I not noticed how fab the song was!

37. I LET THE MUSIC SPEAK – ABBA (1981 The Visitors album track)

Another low-key track on The Visitors that I wasn’t at all fussed about at the time, more or less picking up where The Albums’ Mini-Musical ambitions had left off. Benny & Bjorn were clearly gearing up for Chess, this song would be spot-on perfect in a musical, it has all the ingredients, a central vocal for a great female singer (Frida’s honey-sweet warm vocals do it total justice), and it takes you on a 5-minute plus musical journey, swirling this way and that way along with the orchestra. Gorgeous.

36. WATERLOO – ABBA (1974 Eurovision-winning single)

Shock-low-placing moment! I’ve adored this record since the moment I first heard it: I was 16, I was earning pocket-money babysitting for quite a few RAF families with kids of all ages on Saturday Nights while their parents went out for darts evenings and dances with my parents, and on Eurovision night I’d got the kiddies in bed in time for me to settle down and watch Eurovision, the best contest to date, the best contest of the 20th century, and won by the track that was an instant “Oh my God I love this record, and I love Abba!” moment. I bought it full-price immediately as soon as I could, sod revising for my exams, and straight in at 1 on my charts it was. Still the definitive and most-popular Eurovision winner, it was even a big hit in the USA on it’s own rights – they’d no idea about Eurovision there – and the story goes that launched them on to world stardom. Err, no it didn’t. It gave them a foothold of familiarity and 18 months of hard work to overcome the stigma that winning Eurovision meant in those days, and still means. Honey Honey was a hit – but not for Abba – Ring Ring scraped into the charts, So Long flopped, I Do I Do I Do got into the 50 thanks to some Radio 2 support (Terry Wogan was a fan) but they were largely dismissed by critics as a flash in the pan act. The latter track put a chink in my love for Abba, it was sub-par for me, but it didn’t last long…

So why so low? Over-familiarity, partly, I hear it without that nostalgic glow these days as it’s always getting played somewhere, but also because errr there are 35 Abba tracks I love even more….

35. I KNOW THERE’S SOMETHING GOING ON – Frida (featuring Phil Collins) (1983 single)

Frida’s finest solo moment by some distance, and the best non-Abba track on the rundown – if it sounds a bit like Phil Collins’ In The Air Tonight, that’s because it’s Phil Collins drumming, singing backing, and producing. As if ol’ Phil didn’t already have a very busy solo and band schedule, he thought he could also sling in a solo album with Frida while he was at it. The song is written by the fab songwriter and popstar Russ Ballard who’d teamed up with Zombies’ Rod Argent to form the band Argent, who kick-started his hit songwriting career with God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You, a solo album, and songs galore gifted to hit-makers like Hot Chocolate (So You Win Again), Rainbow (Since You’ve Been Gone), America (You Can Do Magic) and Hello (New York Groove). A top 10 hit everywhere, virtually, except the UK, where it still remains largely obscure, but even the USA got it to 13 in the charts so the fault is entirely at the feet of the UK music industry (ie Radio and promotion) rather than this thumpingly good rock track not being hitworthy.

34. MONEY MONEY MONEY – ABBA (1976 single)

The one that interrupted what would have been a run of 7 number one’s in a row if they’d gone for another track off the Arrival album – I mean it’s great, loved the video (one of 2 they made) which got shown on Top Of The Pops, the ragtime-vibe suited the lyrics, and the lyrics will ever-remain pertinent and true for the masses living out their lives making ends meet – and yet it wasn’t my choice for the next single after Dancing Queen (that’s coming later), though it probably is a better actual song than my faves tracks on the album, and it’s still pretty famous and popular so peaking at 3 can’t have been too bad. I recall it competing with Queen’s Somebody To Love for the top spot, but neither eternally popular band actually making it thanks to….err, Showaddywaddy’s Under The Moon Of Love cover and Johnny Mathis’ When A Child Is Born Christmas song. Ouch! That still hurts….

33. ME AND I – ABBA (1980 Super Trouper album track)

Smooth and polished, sophisticated but still got the pop hooks, Abba’s last huge commercial hurrah was around 1980, and the album was crowded with potential singles, so it was frustrating that they only released 2 old-fashioned 45’s off the chock-a-block album. Tracks like this fab Frida-led goodie that could have filled a chart gap in early January or February 1981 while we waited for the 12″-only next track. And it’s not even the best non-single track on Super Trouper….

32. THAT’S ME – ABBA (1976 B-side and Arrival album track)

B-side to Dancing Queen, and ahead of the album release I loved this track as much I’d loved some past Abba singles, which set me on course for doing something I never did – buying a current pop album at full price when it came out. They were pricey and I preferred singles, but I had to have those peak-Abba tracks anyway. Totally worth every penny. Abba even kept me buying the singles by putting B sides on that weren’t available elsewhere – as all the best bands did in the days when you bought more than one track (and Pet Shop Boys still do).

31. HOLE IN YOUR SOUL – ABBA (1978 The Album album track)

I love the banging intro to this one, and the uptempo girl-vocal hyperactive verse (which is really the main hook) while the low-key male-sung chorus is like it’s from a different song. Bung in some key changes straight from the style of musicals (very much the theme of the album) and it’s a right ol’ odd one that always pushed my buttons even though I know it’s a bit of a cheesy mish-mash.

Eurovision Song Contest 2016

  1. Belgium – What’s the Pressure. Bruno Mars vs Chic, disco basslines and a great pop song. Love the silver outfit, love the record, good vocal and performance, a real contender, it could easily chart and sound like it fitted. Fab. 92/100
  2. Czech Republic – I Stand. Well hooray for a debut final performance for the C.R. I see she’s recycling her wedding frock. After the fab intro of Belgium this is a real mood-killer. She can sing, and the wind machine tries to make it sound less-dirge-like. Unsuccessfully.
  3. The Netherlands – Slow Down. So slow, it stops! I like having a bit of Country Music in the final though, it’s nice. Love his fake Vulcan ears. At least I think they’re fake. It’s very good, though not a Common Linnets scale vote-winner. He’s a good singer, though, like the song. 84/100
  4. Azerbaijan – Miracle. Her golden cat-suit will be worth a few votes. It’s got the 2016 production-values for dance-pop (or EDM as it is called now) but she’s not quite got the vocals, and the song doesn’t quite click enough. Not bad though. 78/100
  5. Hungary – Pioneer. He still hasn’t tucked his shirt in. Cue whistles. He’s a bit hot, should be worth a few votes, though his constipated vocal style detracts a little from the passionate delivery. Love the Munchkin-style-dancing of the backing singers. Not bad, a good effort. 74/100
  6. Italy – No Degree Of Separation. Last year’s Real Actual Winners, Italy, always classy. She looks fab, apart from her 1975-era clothes. Love the Italian lyrics sound, and a good ballad, performed with conviction, even if not the best singer in the competition. Grazzi. 82/100
  7. Israel – Made Of Stars. An accurate enough statement, Woodstock’s we are stardust said it first though. Needs a haircut. I like it’s simplicity (the song, not the act) and the last half pick-up, but it just doesn’t quite gel for me. I think the golden shower behind him might be an unfortunate reference point.
  8. Bulgaria – If Love Was A Crime. One of the best in the final, this one. She has a great voice, and a 60‘s sci-fi costume what’s not to love!? The production is terrific and the song is really song, catchy, stylish, I actually like the verses more than the chorus. I appreciate the absence of backing dancers. She doesn’t need any distractions. Fab! 95/100
  9. Sweden – If I Were Sorry. Aww so cute, on a youth training programme I think. Needs a haircut. A little bit too Bieber-ish (only this one can sing) but pleasant and inoffensive. He will go down VERY well with young girls and some boys. A contender, but middling good for me. 80/100.
  10. Germany – Ghost. Very Lorde. Not Lordi, I stress. She appears to have managed to combine Carmen Miranda with Shirley Temple for her costume. Not to mention The Cat In The Hat socks. Sadly that detracts from the song, which is not bad in a depressing sort of way, should have stuck with the moonlight night intro.
  11. France – J’ai Cherche. Fabulous record, loved this before I knew it was Eurovision. He’s a handsome smiley chap, a good singer, and the uptempo French/English singalong EDM is very “now”. One of my absolute faves this year, and France’s best of many good efforts since the fab Sebastien Tellier. I hope it beats Russia! 98/100.
  12. Poland – Color Of Your Life. Missing the “U” in colour. It probably ran for the hills when it saw his hair. Needs a huge haircut. Whiny, with or without the Ringmaster coat. Where’s a lion when you want one… Bet it gets points from the UK, hah!
  13. Australia – Sound Of Silence. Dami Im is a fantastic South Korean-born Aus singer, with a pretty big career so it’s fab to have her in the final, and with a FAB.U. LOUS. ballad, sung brilliantly. Love it! Love the performance. Now THAT’s how you do a Eurovision ballad. Awesome! Shouts WINNER! to me. I do so hope so! 99/100.
  14. Cyprus – Alter Ego. Starts off Bon Jovi on one of their better days, like the guitar-riffs, and the chorus is pretty good. Great to see old-fashioned rock surviving in the Med, cos it’s pretty much been wiped out in the UK in 2016. Not gonna get many points, obv. 70/100.
  15. Serbia – Goodbye (Shelter). Well-meaning song. I feel I should like it more than I do. It’s perfectly decent, sung perfectly-fine, but there’s plenty of better entries. 72/100.
  16. Lithuania – I’ve Been Waiting For The Night. No blindfold this time, just a horrible jacket. Happily it comes off. He’s also easy on the eye, which won’t hurt his chances with this singalong pop ditty. Again, a reasonable pop song, but not outstanding. Needs a haircut. 76/100.
  17. Croatia – Lighthouse. I need a cup of tea at this point. That dress is a good enough reason in itself to leave the room…. Dreary.
  18. Russia – You Are The Only One. Great to hear last year’s winner reprised so well. Russia has spared no expense, hired the best British/Greek hit pop songwriters, great presentation, great Russian pop singer, they really want to win. I hope they come 2nd again. Hah! It’s good of course. 88/100.
  19. Spain – Say yay. Another great EDM pop song entry, Spain always under-achieve unfairly. This is their most-commercial effort in a while, being in English not least of all. Credible current pop song, great singer, bounding dance beats, love it. 94/100.
  20. Latvia – Heartbeat. I know a couple of Latvians who used to lodge with a friend. Turned out to be drug dealers. Nothing to do with this OK pop song, and the nice-looking-boy singer’s passionate vocal, but it is slightly more interesting than talking about the song.
  21. Ukraine – 1944. Another worthy song. Rhythmically interesting, and a serious topic from a troubled country. A grower, it’s quite subtle. 81/100.
  22. Malta – Walk On Water. The second-best song in semi 2 for me. I hope she doesn’t have 5 backers or she’ll technically break the 6-person limit, what with being preggers and all. It’s a good EDM song, the standard of good quality songs this year is quite high. 86/100.
  23. Georgia – Midnight Gold. More rock! More contemporary-sounding this time, hooray! Good to see Noel Gallagher joining on guitar, never thought he would do Eurovision! It’s not a “song” in the verse/chorus sense, but it sound fabulous, and is refreshingly energetic and different. Excellent. 83/100.
  24. Austria – Loin D’ici. Fresh from the Eurovision finals in 1973. I may need to check that fact. Pretty frock. I was hoping Conchita Wurst was going to burst out of it, but she’s much prettier and sans beard. Pretty tune, pretty voice, stands no chance. 73/100.
  25. UK – You’re Not Alone. Now it’s those 2 loveable Voice chaps, good to see we are still going for talent show hopefuls. They are cute, of course, the song is bouncy in a non-bouncy contest, and that might save them from the dreaded bottom 5. Actual drummers on stage too. Oh it’s good pop, just accept it, better than most of One Direction’s entire career. 90/100.
  26. Armenia – Lovewave. As everyone dashes to the kettle, as is traditional during the last song, I will hold off for any woman in a cape. She could easily be a super-hero and her legs will be worth a few points. It’s good diva-drama without being memorable in any way. She is quite the belter vocally, though. Good performance. 75/100.

My top 12:

1 – Australia

2 – France

3 – Bulgaria

4 – Spain

5 – Belgium

6 – UK

7 – Russia

8 – Malta

9 – Netherlands

10 – Georgia

11 – Italy

12 – Sweden

Eurovision Song Contest 2015 – My irreverant ratings on the night

Slovenia – Ginger Spice in headphones and a frock. Drum n bass meets a violin, with helium-inspired vocals. I like it!

France – La chanson Francaise elle est marveillieuse. Spelling! Grammar! Ironic title I suspect, but she can belt it out fine and I like it.

Israel – 16 years old, very mature-looking goldenboy with an appealing voice, and I like the bits where the N’Sync-ish dancepop morphs into ethnic hebrew rhythms

Estonia – boy/girl, the song’s not bad actually, but the shaky performance from the male singer knocks it back a tad, and it’s just a bit wishy washy, but good.

UK – flawless vocal performance, great presentation, engaging and different. Fab. Such online hatred for it though from UK fans. Unfairly, at worst it’s forgettably pleasant. I think it’s terrifically retro.

Armenia – Bit of a Greek-Chorus going on (in the Greek Lit sense) costume wise, who all contribute to much wailing. All a bit bizarre!

Lithuania – A skirt of many colours. Another duo. A bit of uptempo country fiddling disguises a bland song. Not very well.

Serbia – Big woman, big voice, big finish. Camp as a row of drama queen tents in a big beats festival. The second half is fab.

Norway – Good singer, pretty tune – till Veronica Lake adds her two-pennorth. Impresses as it goes on actually, pretty good.

Sweden – Great staging, Avicii/Guetta-inspired dancepop taking a leaf out of Loreen’s winning-book. Being easy on the eye doesn’t hurt, either. Bloody excellent!

Cyprus – Euro-fan mate Hass’ interview on youtube with John, ahh he so sweet-natured and sensible. The gentleness of the song, and especially without the obligatory rousing climax, is most welcome.

Australia – Oh I wish they were in it every year! Guy is a fab singer in a Bruno Mars groove, and this is a proper pop song, sounding credible, good quality and a fab performance.

Belgium – Lorde-inspired alternative EDM-pop (genre-wise), inspiringly different and written and sung by a 19-year-old who has a nap half-way through. Unusual, classy, great hook, great staging, good singing. Fab!

Austria – 70’s rock throwbacks in the old sense of the word (poprock) complete with long hair and a song. Where’s a fire extinguisher when you need one. I like it.

Greece – long-hair, female, sparkly dress, it can only be a Celine Dion moment. Let’s wait and see. Oh, yes, here comes that wind-machine and the OTT volume-raising at the end. Pass!

Montenegro – The ethnic instruments, the non-English lyrics, a good singer, and a good song all have to compete with Botoxism. Which will win?

Germany – Cat-suit – is it Selina Kyle? Hate the hair-bun and the winking, though the shuffling souldance groove is most welcome. Wot! Ella Eyre wrote this?! She’s a hot UK songwriter/hitmaker, no wonder it sounded good [NB voters have cloth-ears obviously, the UK could do with using it’s hot young songwriters for Eurovision!]

Poland – Points for perseverance in the face of adversity. I approve of the sentiment and everything about it…but I feel mean finding it a bit forgettable and a bit off-key. Now I feel guilty!

Latvia – FKA-Twigs-inspired (as I’m sure all you trend-followers spotted!) this has credibility and 2015 written all over it, VERY cool and I love it, I love the lack of cliches, the EDM sounds (Electronic dance music is THE sound of the teenies decade) and a great singer.

Romania – a giant-diamond-encrusted scarab beetle seems to have perched on his throat. It’s a worthy song that isn’t sickening, nor is it forgettable, but it’s not a winner, just pleasant.

Spain – Lady In Red. Spanish lady. Then in white. Good singer but not as good as the recorded version, comes over a bit anti-climactic, ironically.

Hungary – Like the astronomy backdrop. Worthy and dreary. A good tune never hurts a message song, and this has not a good tune.

Georgia – Lily Munster in hotpants, crossed with a bit of Hawkwoman. Thumping rock chick drama though. great drums. Striking and a great performance.

Azerbaijan – I hate distracting mimes. The singer thinks he’s Neo in the Matrix. He’s not bad actually, but it’s also worthy and dull.

Russia – Tipped to win despite politics, it’s yet another worthy ballad, but less ploddy and more rousing. A bit shrill for me, I don’t get it’s popularity…

Albania – Another plodding ballad, but this time not worthy. In every sense of the word. I was annoyed this drivel qualified over the fab Denmark in semi 1. So in a strop I called her a shrieking harpy. I suppose I should revise that as it was a bit unfair and I was in a bad mood…

Italy – Il Divo. There are so many of these handsome young male operatic/pop crossover groups on the hotel circuit these days, it’s a virtual Italian industry. Great singers though, they piss over half the so-called singers in the competition. fab!

My rating on the night:

1.Belgium (4th)
2.Sweden (1st)
3.Latvia (6th)
4.Australia (5th)
5.Italy (3rd – or 1st in the televote only, yes they wuz robbed by the panels!)
6.UK (24th)
7.Germany (26th Nul points!)
8.Norway (8th)
9.Israel (9th)
10.Georgia (11th)
11.Serbia (10th)
12.Montenegro (13th)

So how did the others do?
Russia (2nd)
Estonia (7th)
Azerbaijan (12th)

That is officially the most in-tune I have ever been with Eurovision, and UK itunes sales seem to agree with the results, with the notable exception of Italy who are much lower.

My 1974 Charts – June

Image

A blurred American Museum 1974 photo, near Bath. I still have the can of uncooked popcorn we bought and never used. Ewwww!

4th June 1974

O level GCE’s drawing to a close, lots of radio listening still, and summer days were here. I had a new friend start at the school, Ian Galloway, who just seemed to rub everyone the wrong way as new boy, but he more or less latched onto me as he lived down the road from us and was into music. I even got him to do a chart in July, but that’ll be a bonus alternative chart to mine then. Ooooh!

In music, Elton’s B side finally topped my chart after yo-yoing up and down randomly as I got to hear it (or not) on radio. Bennie And The Jets is still fab, and it was his second number one (Crocodile Rock being the first). Keeping off The Monkees at 2, it also knocks R. Dean Taylor down prematurely (under my old chart rules that would still be topping). Ronnie Lane goes Top 5, something he’d managed once with the Faces (Stay With Me), and Roy Wood’s album track entry from the start of the year finally gets a single release and enters at 9, bagpipes and all.

Mouth & Macneal go up to 10, thus giving Eurovision 1974 3 top 10 hits. Not to be repeated until well into the 21st century either! The gorgeous Laughter In The Rain is new at 21 for Neil Sedaka, which gave him a new lease of life in the states in 1975 (he was UK based at this time). New also, Mott’s final hit of note, the rather mellow Foxy Foxy; Hudson-Ford’s final hit the very mellow Floating In The Wind; Cher’s Train Of Thought following up a chart-topper, new act Christopher Rainbow with a good (flop) unusual single vocally. Haven’t heard it for 40 years, hoping youtube will help me. 10CC, of course, sneak in at 30 with the very classic Wall Street Shuffle, a song for our times being as it’s a bitter searing attack on bankers greed. See, even pop stars knew it to be a truism, just the equally greedy politicians who felt that people dealing in greed and power were perfectly fine to regulate themselves and do as they please. Should have listened to Godley, Creme, Gouldman and Stewart. 10CC were serious artists, musically versatile and inventive, but having a sense of humour in music (as they often did) really does you no favours with the critics.

1 ( 38 ) BENNIE AND THE JETS Elton John
2 ( 4 ) I’M A BELIEVER The Monkees
3 ( 1 ) THERE’S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE R. Dean Taylor
4 ( 9 ) THE POACHER Ronnie Lane
5 ( 3 ) THIS TOWN AIN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF US Sparks
6 ( 2 ) THE MAN IN BLACK Cozy Powell
7 ( 7 ) SUMMER BREEZE The Isley Brothers
8 ( 8 ) THE IN CROWD Bryan Ferry
9 ( RE ) GOING DOWN THE ROAD Roy Wood
10 ( 20 ) I SEE A STAR Mouth and MacNeal

11 ( 5 ) THE STREAK Ray Stevens
12 ( 6 ) CENTRAL PARK ARREST Thunderthighs
13 ( 13 ) BAND ON THE RUN Paul McCartney & Wings
14 ( 23 ) BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU’VE GOT William De Vaughan
15 ( 15 ) BEACH BABY First Class
16 ( 17 ) OOH I DO Lynsey De Paul
17 ( 11 ) HEY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Showaddywaddy
18 ( 10 ) AMERICA David Essex
19 ( 12 ) JUDY TEEN Cockney Rebel
20 ( 16 ) LOSE TO LOVE AGAIN Melanie

21 ( NEW ) LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN Neil Sedaka
22 ( 22 ) MONKEES THEME The Monkees
23 ( 18 ) WATERLOO Abba
24 ( 29 ) IF YOU’RE READY (COME GO WITH ME) The Staple Singers
25 ( 19 ) GO (BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART) Gigliola Cinquetti
26 ( NEW ) FOXY FOXY Mott The Hoople
27 ( NEW ) SOLID STATE BRAIN Christopher Rainbow
28 ( NEW ) TRAIN OF THOUGHT Cher
29 ( NEW ) FLOATING IN THE WIND Hudson-Ford
30 ( NEW ) WALL STREET SHUFFLE 10C.C.

31 ( 21 ) ROCK ‘N’ ROLL WINTER Wizzard
32 ( 14 ) THE LOCOMOTION Grand Funk Railroad
33 ( 24 ) I’M IN LOVE Aretha Franklin
34 ( 26 ) SUGAR BABY LOVE The Rubettes
35 ( 25 ) THE BOOGIE MAN The Jackson 5
36 ( 28 ) GETTING OVER YOU Andy Williams
37 ( 27 ) THE JARROW SONG Alan Price
38 ( 30 ) THE SHOW MUST GO ON Three Dog Night
39 ( NEW ) I WON’T LAST A DAY WITHOUT YOU The Carpenters
40 ( NEW ) GUILTY The Pearls

 

11th June 1974

Oldies dominate the Top end if the chart (and elsewhere) as the Monkees get to the top with I’m A Believer, while in at 2 was the record that won the Radio 1 All-time listeners poll earlier in the year. Reissued on the back of that, and a hit all over again, Young Girl was a gem, and Gary Puckett a magnificent vocalist. Times change, and Young Girl is regarded as a bit lyrically dodgy these obsessively pc days (it wasn’t then, at all, not least by all the girls who voted for it). I don’t know why, as the singer makes it clear his attraction for the girl who’s chasing him is a no no cos she’s far too young (despite looking all grown up). Surely in these rewriting history days it’s a model to hold up for men to follow! Hey ho, my charts right from the get go have featured oldies. If it’s good it’s good…

William De Vaughan’s divine Be Thankful goes up to 8, Band On The Run finally breaks into the top 10 as a single release happens and Elton drops from 1 (out of the 30) as he’d used up his allotted Top 30 weeks-on-chart quota permitted for non-singles-hits. New in at 13, on one listen, Jim Stafford’s follow-up to Spiders and Snakes (though release still a way off in the UK) My Girl Bill. Elton John reviewed the new singles releases in one music mag and said he was all ready to see one bloke about to ravish another, and then end goes and spoils it! Yes, the charts weren’t QUITE ready yet for a gay relationship song describing two men kissing – they were actually fighting over the same girl cos she’s My Girl, comma, Bill. Funny!

In at 18, future hit-makers Pilot with the fabulous debut single Just A Smile. I seem to be alone in loving this track, but it’s fabulous. Still. It took over a year for a re-release to chart, but I was right from the beginning. So there! The gorgeous, still regarded well, jazzy, sultry Midnight At The Oasis enters for Maria Muldaur at 19, already way higher than the rubbish UK chart peaks for so many great records in 1974. The Jackson 5, meanwhile get their last big hit. In the USA that is, stiffed in the UK, sadly, but the funky Dancing Machine deserved better. Radio 1 didn’t play it, so that was that really in those days. No hit. Theme tune to TV Show Zoo Gang pops in at 23 for Jungle Juice. I say theme tune, actually it’s a cover – the original theme tune was a Paul & Linda McCartney instrumental (TV show had Brian Keith, John Mills, Barry Morse) – by Tony Hiller of Brotherhood Of Man songwriter note. Talking of Paul, another of his songs slides in, all pleasantly countrified, courtesy Anne Murray having her first hit for 2 years – You Won’t See Me, a great Beatles album track. Also a big US hit. Bit of a theme going on here, not one single current new UK chart hit entering. No Lena Zavaroni, Peters & Lee, Cliff, Cassidy, Perry Como for me, sorry!

1 ( 2 ) I’M A BELIEVER The Monkees
2 ( NEW ) YOUNG GIRL Gary Puckett And The Union Gap
3 ( 4 ) THE POACHER Ronnie Lane
4 ( 9 ) GOING DOWN THE ROAD Roy Wood
5 ( 5 ) THIS TOWN AIN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF US Sparks
6 ( 3 ) THERE’S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE R. Dean Taylor
7 ( 6 ) THE MAN IN BLACK Cozy Powell
8 ( 14 ) BE THANKFUL FOR WAHT YOU’VE GOT William De Vaughan
9 ( 13 ) BAND ON THE RUN Paul McCartney & Wings
10 ( 7 ) SUMMER BREEZE The Isley Brothers

11 ( 11 ) THE STREAK Ray Stevens
12 ( 15 ) BEACH BABY First Class
13 ( NEW ) MY GIRL BILL Jim Stafford
14 ( 12 ) CENTRAL PARK ARREST Thunderthighs
15 ( 10 ) I SEE A STAR Mouth and MacNeal
16 ( 27 ) SOLID STATE BRAIN Christopher Rainbow
17 ( 30 ) WALL STREET SHUFFLE 10C.C.
18 ( NEW ) JUST A SMILE Pilot
19 ( NEW ) MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS Maria Muldaur
20 ( NEW ) DANCING MACHINE The Jackson 5

21 ( 21 ) LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN Neil Sedaka
22 ( 16 ) OOH I DO Lynsey De Paul
23 ( NEW ) ZOO GANG Jungle Juice
24 ( 8 ) THE IN CROWD Bryan Ferry
25 ( 26 ) FOXY FOXY Mott The Hoople
26 ( 28 ) TRAIN OF THOUGHT Cher
27 ( NEW ) YOU WON’T SEE ME Anne Murray
28 ( 17 ) HEY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Showaddywaddy
29 ( NEW ) (SITTING ON) THE DOCK OF THE BAY Otis Redding
30 ( 22 ) MONKEES THEME The Monkees

31 ( 1 ) BENNY AND THE JETS Elton John
32 ( 18 ) AMERICA David Essex
33 ( 19 ) JUDY TEEN Cockney Rebel
34 ( 20 ) LOSE TO LOVE AGAIN Melanie
35 ( 23 ) WATERLOO Abba
36 ( 24 ) IF YOU’RE READY (COME GO WITH ME) The Staple Singers
37 ( 25 ) GO (BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART) Gigliola Cinquetti
38 ( 29 ) FLOATING IN THE WIND Hudson-Ford
39 ( NEW ) I CAN’T STOP The Osmonds
40 ( NEW ) ONE MAN BAND Leo Sayer

 

18th June 1974

Another new number one, and it’s Roy Wood’s reggae bagpipes. I was a huge Roy Wood fan, which explains why this peaked above two much better records (Ronnie Lane at 2 and First Class at 3) who deserved to top my chart more. Anyhoo, it was Roy’s second solo topper, plus 4 with Wizzard, 1 with ELO, and 1 with The Move, for a grand total of 8 in just over 5 years.

10CC meanwhile shuffle up again to 4 for a fourth Top 10 hit, and Pilot and Maria Muldaur join them in the Top 10. Anne Murray starts to catch up on Paul McCartney with one of his old songs, Neil Sedaka cracks the 20 with the gorgeous Laughter In The Rain, and there’s a bunch of familiar names popping in. Gary Glitter gets the highest new entry at 11 with his last UK number one, Always Yours (it’s pretty good, though obviously perma-banned from radio and TV), while Suzi Quatro reckons it’s Too Big at 23. Responses on a postcard…

The Wombles get an unlikely 3rd hit, and change style abruptly, Mike Batt opting for Calypso wombling this time at 25. Another unlikely entry from Rolling Stone Bill Wyman and his Monkey Grip Glue. Sadly, he had to wait another 7 years for a UK solo chart hit. Si Si? Je Suis Un Rock Star..

The Scaffold are back, 5 years since Lily The Pink was in my top 3, keeping up the McCartney presence in the charts (Macca’s brother Mike), with Liverpool Lou, a city I was very familiar with from 1965 through to 1989, even went to two primary schools there. The local pride for Scouse stuff rubs off on non-natives! Meanwhile Albert Hammond gets a re-entry (sort of) of his 2-year-old USA hit classic It Never Rains In Southern California. It’s fab. And finally, those one-hit-Eurovision-wonders Abba decide they want more as Ring Ring rings in at 29, following-up instant Number One Waterloo.

1 ( 4 ) GOING DOWN THE ROAD Roy Wood
2 ( 3 ) THE POACHER Ronnie Lane
3 ( 12 ) BEACH BABY First Class
4 ( 17 ) WALL STREET SHUFFLE 10C.C.
5 ( 5 ) THIS TOWN AIN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF US Sparks
6 ( 9 ) BAND ON THE RUN Paul McCartney & Wings
7 ( 1 ) I’M A BELIEVER The Monkees
8 ( 2 ) YOUNG GIRL Gary Puckett And The Union Gap
9 ( 18 ) JUST A SMILE Pilot
10 ( 19 ) MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS Maria Muldaur

11 ( NEW ) ALWAYS YOURS Gary Glitter
12 ( 27 ) YOU WON’T SEE ME Anne Murray
13 ( 6 ) THERE’S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE R. Dean Taylor
14 ( 7 ) THE MAN IN BLACK Cozy Powell
15 ( 13 ) MY GIRL BILL Jim Stafford
16 ( 16 ) SOLID STATE BRAIN Christopher Rainbow
17 ( 11 ) THE STREAK Ray Stevens
18 ( 8 ) BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU’VE GOT William De Vaughan
19 ( 20 ) DANCING MACHINE The Jackson 5
20 ( 21 ) LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN Neil Sedaka

21 ( 26 ) TRAIN OF THOUGHT Cher
22 ( 23 ) ZOO GANG Jungle Juice
23 ( NEW ) TOO BIG Suzi Quatro
24 ( 14 ) CENTRAL PARK ARREST Thunderthighs
25 ( NEW ) BANANA ROCK The Wombles
26 ( 25 ) FOXY FOXY Mott The Hoople
27 ( NEW ) MONKEY GRIP GLUE Bill Wyman
28 ( NEW ) LIVERPOOL LOU The Scaffold
29 ( NEW ) RING RING Abba
30 ( NEW ) IT NEVER RAINS IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA Albert Hammond

31 ( 10 ) SUMMER BREEZE The Isley Brothers
32 ( 15 ) I SEE A STAR Mouth and MacNeal
33 ( 22 ) OOH I DO Lynsey De Paul
34 ( 24 ) THE IN CROWD Bryan Ferry
35 ( 28 ) HEY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Showaddywaddy
36 ( 29 ) (SITTING ON) THE DOCK OF THE BAY Otis Redding
37 ( 30 ) MONKEES THEME The Monkees
38 ( 31 ) BENNIE AND THE JETS Elton John
39 ( NEW ) I’D LOVE YOU TO WANT ME Lobo
40 ( NEW ) SHE Charles Aznavour

 

 

25th June 1974

Another new number one: 10CC’s classic rock track, I still rate this one enormously, hasn’t dated at all and sounds pretty much unlike any other rock band. Crescendo guitars and whopping rhythms and biting lyrics. Brilliant. Keeps off Beach Baby, though, sadly, cos the retro 60’s harmony pop is pure and delightful.

Not much new entry-wise going on so a bit of shuffling, mostly, not quite sure why but if it was nearing term-end-time we may have gone visiting relatives Oop North meaning not so much radio listening (and no reel-to-reel tape listening). Upwards, though, for Maria Muldaur’s Oasis to 4, ahead of Anne Murray’s Beatles cover leaping past Band On The Run. With Zoo Gang at 21 that’s 3 McCartney songs…but’s that not all! Mike Wombles Batt gets his first solo hit (a year ahead of his UK chart debut) with a delightful 1969 cover of Your Mother Should Know – another Macca Beatles track. With his own Wombles at 22, it’s a bit of a Batt n Mac chart!

Paul Da Vinci falsetto’s his way into the charts at 30. Who? Well, he was the actual vocalist on the Rubettes’ Sugar Baby Love, but a session musician infighting strop led to the group and he parting ways, so the Rubettes mimed along for their first single (but became a good songwriting band a few hits down the line) and Paul had his own solo moment in the sun with the very soundalike (to Sugar Baby Love) but fab Your Baby Ain’t Your Baby Anymore. Cher finally chugs her train of thought into the 20, and it was quite a cool state of mind. As opposed to Chris Rainbow’s Solid State Brain which was a little more racing.

Back in at 29, 2 years on, School’s Out – so I’m guessing it was getting radio plays and reissued action cos school was out. For me, that was the end of my 5th year, old enough to leave school, and no plan whatsoever on what I was going to do. Work didn’t appeal much, and my exams promised not so much what with changing schools and all recently. Stay tuned in for results to both after the glorious summer of ’74, when Top Of The Pops and other shows were taken off the air due to strikes at the BBC, and the effect this had on the charts…

1 ( 4 ) WALL STREET SHUFFLE 10C.C.
2 ( 3 ) BEACH BABY First Class
3 ( 2 ) THE POACHER Ronnie Lane
4 ( 10 ) MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS Maria Muldaur
5 ( 12 ) YOU WON’T SEE ME Anne Murray
6 ( 6 ) BAND ON THE RUN Paul McCartney & Wings
7 ( 1 ) GOING DOWN THE ROAD Roy Wood
8 ( 7 ) I’M A BELIEVER The Monkees
9 ( 8 ) YOUNG GIRL Gary Puckett And The Union Gap
10 ( 5 ) THIS TOWN AIN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF US Sparks

11 ( 16 ) SOLID STATE BRAIN Christopher Rainbow
12 ( 11 ) ALWAYS YOURS Gary Glitter
13 ( 13 ) THERE’S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE R. Dean Taylor
14 ( 14 ) THE MAN IN BLACK Cozy Powell
15 ( 9 ) JUST A SMILE Pilot
16 ( 19 ) DANCING MACHINE The Jackson 5
17 ( 17 ) THE STREAK Ray Stevens
18 ( 21 ) TRAIN OF THOUGHT Cher
19 ( 23 ) TOO BIG Suzi Quatro
20 ( 20 ) LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN Neil Sedaka

21 ( 22 ) ZOO GANG Jungle Juice
22 ( 25 ) BANANA ROCK The Wombles
23 ( 18 ) BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU’VE GOT William De Vaughan
24 ( 24 ) CENTRAL PARK ARREST Thunderthighs
25 ( 26 ) FOXY FOXY Mott The Hoople
26 ( 29 ) RING RING Abba
27 ( 30 ) IT NEVER RAINS IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA Albert Hammond
28 ( NEW ) YOUR MOTHER SHOULD KNOW Mike Batt
29 ( NEW ) SCHOOL’S OUT Alice Cooper
30 ( NEW ) YOUR BABY AIN’T YOUR BABY ANYMORE Paul Da Vinci

31 ( 15 ) MY GIRL BILL Jim Stafford
32 ( 27 ) MONKEY GRIP GLUE Bill Wyman
33 ( 28 ) LIVERPOOL LOU The Scaffold
34 ( 31 ) SUMMER BREEZE The Isley Brothers
35 ( 32 ) I SEE A STAR Mouth and MacNeal
36 ( 33 ) OOH I DO Lynsey De Paul
37 ( 34 ) THE IN CROWD Bryan Ferry
38 ( 35 ) HEY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Showaddywaddy
39 ( 38 ) BENNIE AND THE JETS Elton John
40 ( NEW ) DIAMOND DOGS David Bowie

Eurovision 2014 – Copenhagen

UKRAINE

Tick Tock. That hamster-wheel is very distracting which is a shame as the hot singer should be getting all the attention. If looks were points she’d run away with it tonight. Sexiest performance of the night, from both man in wheel and singer. Shame about the shrillness of the singing. It’s OK – 70

BELARUS

Cheesecake. More a boyband shuffle than a proper song. I say boyband, looks a bit tired and emotional the lead singer. If haircuts were points….last place. It’s fairly bland. Should have changed the title to Beefcake, would’ve got the gay vote. 50

AZERBAIJAN

Here’s another distraction. Girl on swing really not needed on a slow ballad. The singer’s very pretty and the frock isn’t as ridiculous as we’ve come to expect these days. In a competition with so many strong ballads this sounds dull. Very dull. Somnambulant. 40

ICELAND

Pollopunk, a besuited quirky band. Lively, what a relief after the dreary ones so far. Starts off well, then goes all nursery rhyme, in sound and in lyric. I think a 7-year-old must have written it! Colourful and energetic though. 75

NORWAY

Carl’s not a professional singer, apparently. Has an Indie whiney credibility to it, and black is so slimming. Not a chance in hell of winning, but it’s sort of sweet in a depressing way and picks up as it goes along. Best so far. 80

ROMANIA

Paula & Ovi are back. I absolutely loved their 2010 song (came 3rd). This is also about the best dance track this year. This one’s not as good, the verses are a bit blah, but the chorus is anthemic. Sort of half a great record. OVI needs a shave. 85

ARMENIA

MP3. One of the faves. Nice lights. Huge bags under the eyes make me wonder if he “parties” too hard. First minute is dreary. Second minute is dramatic. I’m sure there’s a song in there amongst all the passion. He’s not a great singer though. 82

MONTENEGRO

Oh no not skaters again! He’s a bit suave. Like the violins. Another dreary first minute upping the passion half-way through. So many half-songs this contest. Shame cos the last minute is pretty good. 78

POLAND

Ethic Polish rapping. Odd mixture. Points deducted for sexual innuendo with the milkmaid butterchurning pumping and pouting and bosoming. A bit shouty. Slavik girls seemingly a bit slutty and proud of it. good for them. 65

GREECE

Another blokey Greece entry, at odds with most entries. Thank goodness! Pogoing dance, great riffs, catchy song, good-looking rapper. This could be a shock winner with so many ballads. Great. 90

AUSTRIA

Conchita. Beards very fashionable with lads apparently. This ballad is brilliant, dramatic, great singer, great performance. Good enough to be a movie theme. I love this and hope it’s getting points from the Eastern Block. 95

GERMANY

accordian oompah lumbering crossed with Pink-styled pop. It’s not actually bad, it’s just not very exciting or moving and falls in the middle a bit. 68

SWEDEN

She keeps trying to get in Eurovision. Good thing too, this is a great song. A real fave for weeks with the Euro fans. It’s classy and builds properly, not drearily. Good singer, well on a par with Austria, could well pip them to the post. 93

FRANCE

As unpredictable as ever, is France. Ripping off big French act Stromae this one. Not so endearing this year though, a bit of a non-song, though the performance is fun and the group lively and entertaining. 55

RUSSIA

Didn’t we just have twins? Oh, sisters…? Nice dresses, the hair-twining is a bit naff, the see-saw annoying, and the song very competent and does all the right things yet oddly leaves me a bit under-whelmed, even though they can sing fine and look pretty. 83

ITALY

Caesar-fashions back in Italy it seems. Laurel-tastic. I like feisty Italian divas and rock, this rocks along nicely but isn’t memorable as a song. Sounds great though. 81

SLOVENIA

flute! Round and round again, crikey she’s got wide hips. Oh it’s the dress! good song, very memorable, no cheesy bits. Good singer, not bad at all. 88

FINLAND

Pretty boy rock, a bit 2006 though they’ve got the Coldplay wooh oh’s in there. It’s not bad but the song isn’t brilliant, though the energy is and the actual instruments are most welcome. 79

SPAIN

Ruth! She was one on my fave x faxtor acts, an actual good singer. Good to see her popping up again. She always did like an anthem, and whaddya know she’s written one. In a normal year this would stand out as a great ballad. This year though it’s overshadowed. 84.5

SWITZERLAND

Whistle-tastic. Uptempo chuntering folkrock, again I love the sound, and again there’s not much of a songtune in there, but it’s sounds different, and fresh. 82.5

HUNGARY

Running, a great club dance tune, that’s normally the default position for Eurovision, but not this year. I like his voice and frills-free presentation. Slap the dancers though. 89

MALTA

Barlow and Sons, as everyone has commented. He really should have changed his T shirt since the semis. It’s sweet but it’s not a winner. 83.5

DENMARK

He’s short enough to be Bruno Mars, actually. It’s a knowing lyric, and a catchy chorus, should do well. The crowd singing along won’t hurt either! 84

NETHERLANDS

Country duet, classy, great singers great song. He’s got great eyes, and I LOVE this. I want it to come second after Molly! Sometimes less is more, no gimmicks needed. 98

SAN MARINO

Finally through to the final, Valentina gets a hurrah for trying above and beyond. I suspect this got through on the jury votes, feeling sorry for her. Still, she’s enjoying herself, bless. 45

UK

Ohh she’s a bit nervous, not a good sign. Dress, not sure, but her voice is gorgeous as she gets into it. I got tingles down the spine! One of the best eurovision songs ever. Honest! I hope it does well. 100

1. UK
2. The Netherlands
3. Austria
4. Sweden
5. Greece
6. Hungary
7. Slovenia
8. Romania
9. Spain
10. Denmark

Greatest Eurovision Winners & Losers

Eurovison is an institution dating back to the 50’s. Ive been watching since 1967, the classic year was Abba’s winning 1974 when the Top 4all made the UK Top 20, but it’s reached it’s peak years with the expansion of countries entering since 2004, and two semi-finals. Great stuff!

TOP 20 EUROVISION WINNERS:

1. Non Ho L’Eta Per Amarti – Gigliola Cinquetti

2. Waterloo – Abba

3. Fairytale – Alexander Ryskind

4. Wonderful Dream – Anne-Marie David

5. Euphoria – Loreen

6. Only Teardrops – Emmelie de Forest

7. Hallelujah – Milk & Honey

8. Believe – Dima Bilan

9. Rise Like A Phoenix – Conchita Wurst

10. Love Shine A Light – Katrina & The waves

11. Running Scared – Ell & Nikki

12. Puppet On A String – Sandie Shaw

13. Come What May – Vicky Leandros

14. Nocturne – Secret garden

15. Boom Bang A Bang – Lulu

16. Ding A Dong – Teach-In

17. All Kinds Of Everything – Dana

18. Un Banc, Un Arbre, Une Rue – Severine

19. The Voice – Eimar Quinn

20. Satellite – Lene

TOP 20 EUROVISION LOSERS:

1. Eres Tu – Mocedades

2. Divine – Sebastien Tellier

3. Children Of The Universe – Molly

4. Beg Steal Or Borrow – The New Seekers

5. Go (Si) – Gigliola Cinquetti

6. Calm After The Storm – The Common Linnets

7. Rockefeller Street – Getter Jaani

8. Playing With Fire – Paula Seling & Ovi

9. Power To All Our Friends – Cliff Richard

10. No No Never – Texas Lightning

11. Knock Knock Who’s There – Mary Hopkin

12. Jack In The Box – Clodagh Rodgers

13. Love City Groove – Love City Groove

14. Love Will Set You Free – Engelbert Humperdinck

15. In A Moment Like This – Chanee & Evergreen

16. Congratulations – Cliff Richard

17. Let Me Be The One – The Shadows

18. I See A Star – Mouth & MacNeal

19. L’Amour Est Bleu (Love Is Blue) – Vicky Leandros

20. Ooh Ah Just A Little Bit – Gina G