Eurovision Song Contest 2016

  1. Belgium – What’s the Pressure. Bruno Mars vs Chic, disco basslines and a great pop song. Love the silver outfit, love the record, good vocal and performance, a real contender, it could easily chart and sound like it fitted. Fab. 92/100
  2. Czech Republic – I Stand. Well hooray for a debut final performance for the C.R. I see she’s recycling her wedding frock. After the fab intro of Belgium this is a real mood-killer. She can sing, and the wind machine tries to make it sound less-dirge-like. Unsuccessfully.
  3. The Netherlands – Slow Down. So slow, it stops! I like having a bit of Country Music in the final though, it’s nice. Love his fake Vulcan ears. At least I think they’re fake. It’s very good, though not a Common Linnets scale vote-winner. He’s a good singer, though, like the song. 84/100
  4. Azerbaijan – Miracle. Her golden cat-suit will be worth a few votes. It’s got the 2016 production-values for dance-pop (or EDM as it is called now) but she’s not quite got the vocals, and the song doesn’t quite click enough. Not bad though. 78/100
  5. Hungary – Pioneer. He still hasn’t tucked his shirt in. Cue whistles. He’s a bit hot, should be worth a few votes, though his constipated vocal style detracts a little from the passionate delivery. Love the Munchkin-style-dancing of the backing singers. Not bad, a good effort. 74/100
  6. Italy – No Degree Of Separation. Last year’s Real Actual Winners, Italy, always classy. She looks fab, apart from her 1975-era clothes. Love the Italian lyrics sound, and a good ballad, performed with conviction, even if not the best singer in the competition. Grazzi. 82/100
  7. Israel – Made Of Stars. An accurate enough statement, Woodstock’s we are stardust said it first though. Needs a haircut. I like it’s simplicity (the song, not the act) and the last half pick-up, but it just doesn’t quite gel for me. I think the golden shower behind him might be an unfortunate reference point.
  8. Bulgaria – If Love Was A Crime. One of the best in the final, this one. She has a great voice, and a 60‘s sci-fi costume what’s not to love!? The production is terrific and the song is really song, catchy, stylish, I actually like the verses more than the chorus. I appreciate the absence of backing dancers. She doesn’t need any distractions. Fab! 95/100
  9. Sweden – If I Were Sorry. Aww so cute, on a youth training programme I think. Needs a haircut. A little bit too Bieber-ish (only this one can sing) but pleasant and inoffensive. He will go down VERY well with young girls and some boys. A contender, but middling good for me. 80/100.
  10. Germany – Ghost. Very Lorde. Not Lordi, I stress. She appears to have managed to combine Carmen Miranda with Shirley Temple for her costume. Not to mention The Cat In The Hat socks. Sadly that detracts from the song, which is not bad in a depressing sort of way, should have stuck with the moonlight night intro.
  11. France – J’ai Cherche. Fabulous record, loved this before I knew it was Eurovision. He’s a handsome smiley chap, a good singer, and the uptempo French/English singalong EDM is very “now”. One of my absolute faves this year, and France’s best of many good efforts since the fab Sebastien Tellier. I hope it beats Russia! 98/100.
  12. Poland – Color Of Your Life. Missing the “U” in colour. It probably ran for the hills when it saw his hair. Needs a huge haircut. Whiny, with or without the Ringmaster coat. Where’s a lion when you want one… Bet it gets points from the UK, hah!
  13. Australia – Sound Of Silence. Dami Im is a fantastic South Korean-born Aus singer, with a pretty big career so it’s fab to have her in the final, and with a FAB.U. LOUS. ballad, sung brilliantly. Love it! Love the performance. Now THAT’s how you do a Eurovision ballad. Awesome! Shouts WINNER! to me. I do so hope so! 99/100.
  14. Cyprus – Alter Ego. Starts off Bon Jovi on one of their better days, like the guitar-riffs, and the chorus is pretty good. Great to see old-fashioned rock surviving in the Med, cos it’s pretty much been wiped out in the UK in 2016. Not gonna get many points, obv. 70/100.
  15. Serbia – Goodbye (Shelter). Well-meaning song. I feel I should like it more than I do. It’s perfectly decent, sung perfectly-fine, but there’s plenty of better entries. 72/100.
  16. Lithuania – I’ve Been Waiting For The Night. No blindfold this time, just a horrible jacket. Happily it comes off. He’s also easy on the eye, which won’t hurt his chances with this singalong pop ditty. Again, a reasonable pop song, but not outstanding. Needs a haircut. 76/100.
  17. Croatia – Lighthouse. I need a cup of tea at this point. That dress is a good enough reason in itself to leave the room…. Dreary.
  18. Russia – You Are The Only One. Great to hear last year’s winner reprised so well. Russia has spared no expense, hired the best British/Greek hit pop songwriters, great presentation, great Russian pop singer, they really want to win. I hope they come 2nd again. Hah! It’s good of course. 88/100.
  19. Spain – Say yay. Another great EDM pop song entry, Spain always under-achieve unfairly. This is their most-commercial effort in a while, being in English not least of all. Credible current pop song, great singer, bounding dance beats, love it. 94/100.
  20. Latvia – Heartbeat. I know a couple of Latvians who used to lodge with a friend. Turned out to be drug dealers. Nothing to do with this OK pop song, and the nice-looking-boy singer’s passionate vocal, but it is slightly more interesting than talking about the song.
  21. Ukraine – 1944. Another worthy song. Rhythmically interesting, and a serious topic from a troubled country. A grower, it’s quite subtle. 81/100.
  22. Malta – Walk On Water. The second-best song in semi 2 for me. I hope she doesn’t have 5 backers or she’ll technically break the 6-person limit, what with being preggers and all. It’s a good EDM song, the standard of good quality songs this year is quite high. 86/100.
  23. Georgia – Midnight Gold. More rock! More contemporary-sounding this time, hooray! Good to see Noel Gallagher joining on guitar, never thought he would do Eurovision! It’s not a “song” in the verse/chorus sense, but it sound fabulous, and is refreshingly energetic and different. Excellent. 83/100.
  24. Austria – Loin D’ici. Fresh from the Eurovision finals in 1973. I may need to check that fact. Pretty frock. I was hoping Conchita Wurst was going to burst out of it, but she’s much prettier and sans beard. Pretty tune, pretty voice, stands no chance. 73/100.
  25. UK – You’re Not Alone. Now it’s those 2 loveable Voice chaps, good to see we are still going for talent show hopefuls. They are cute, of course, the song is bouncy in a non-bouncy contest, and that might save them from the dreaded bottom 5. Actual drummers on stage too. Oh it’s good pop, just accept it, better than most of One Direction’s entire career. 90/100.
  26. Armenia – Lovewave. As everyone dashes to the kettle, as is traditional during the last song, I will hold off for any woman in a cape. She could easily be a super-hero and her legs will be worth a few points. It’s good diva-drama without being memorable in any way. She is quite the belter vocally, though. Good performance. 75/100.

My top 12:

1 – Australia

2 – France

3 – Bulgaria

4 – Spain

5 – Belgium

6 – UK

7 – Russia

8 – Malta

9 – Netherlands

10 – Georgia

11 – Italy

12 – Sweden

Eurovision Song Contest 2015 – My irreverant ratings on the night

Slovenia – Ginger Spice in headphones and a frock. Drum n bass meets a violin, with helium-inspired vocals. I like it!

France – La chanson Francaise elle est marveillieuse. Spelling! Grammar! Ironic title I suspect, but she can belt it out fine and I like it.

Israel – 16 years old, very mature-looking goldenboy with an appealing voice, and I like the bits where the N’Sync-ish dancepop morphs into ethnic hebrew rhythms

Estonia – boy/girl, the song’s not bad actually, but the shaky performance from the male singer knocks it back a tad, and it’s just a bit wishy washy, but good.

UK – flawless vocal performance, great presentation, engaging and different. Fab. Such online hatred for it though from UK fans. Unfairly, at worst it’s forgettably pleasant. I think it’s terrifically retro.

Armenia – Bit of a Greek-Chorus going on (in the Greek Lit sense) costume wise, who all contribute to much wailing. All a bit bizarre!

Lithuania – A skirt of many colours. Another duo. A bit of uptempo country fiddling disguises a bland song. Not very well.

Serbia – Big woman, big voice, big finish. Camp as a row of drama queen tents in a big beats festival. The second half is fab.

Norway – Good singer, pretty tune – till Veronica Lake adds her two-pennorth. Impresses as it goes on actually, pretty good.

Sweden – Great staging, Avicii/Guetta-inspired dancepop taking a leaf out of Loreen’s winning-book. Being easy on the eye doesn’t hurt, either. Bloody excellent!

Cyprus – Euro-fan mate Hass’ interview on youtube with John, ahh he so sweet-natured and sensible. The gentleness of the song, and especially without the obligatory rousing climax, is most welcome.

Australia – Oh I wish they were in it every year! Guy is a fab singer in a Bruno Mars groove, and this is a proper pop song, sounding credible, good quality and a fab performance.

Belgium – Lorde-inspired alternative EDM-pop (genre-wise), inspiringly different and written and sung by a 19-year-old who has a nap half-way through. Unusual, classy, great hook, great staging, good singing. Fab!

Austria – 70’s rock throwbacks in the old sense of the word (poprock) complete with long hair and a song. Where’s a fire extinguisher when you need one. I like it.

Greece – long-hair, female, sparkly dress, it can only be a Celine Dion moment. Let’s wait and see. Oh, yes, here comes that wind-machine and the OTT volume-raising at the end. Pass!

Montenegro – The ethnic instruments, the non-English lyrics, a good singer, and a good song all have to compete with Botoxism. Which will win?

Germany – Cat-suit – is it Selina Kyle? Hate the hair-bun and the winking, though the shuffling souldance groove is most welcome. Wot! Ella Eyre wrote this?! She’s a hot UK songwriter/hitmaker, no wonder it sounded good [NB voters have cloth-ears obviously, the UK could do with using it’s hot young songwriters for Eurovision!]

Poland – Points for perseverance in the face of adversity. I approve of the sentiment and everything about it…but I feel mean finding it a bit forgettable and a bit off-key. Now I feel guilty!

Latvia – FKA-Twigs-inspired (as I’m sure all you trend-followers spotted!) this has credibility and 2015 written all over it, VERY cool and I love it, I love the lack of cliches, the EDM sounds (Electronic dance music is THE sound of the teenies decade) and a great singer.

Romania – a giant-diamond-encrusted scarab beetle seems to have perched on his throat. It’s a worthy song that isn’t sickening, nor is it forgettable, but it’s not a winner, just pleasant.

Spain – Lady In Red. Spanish lady. Then in white. Good singer but not as good as the recorded version, comes over a bit anti-climactic, ironically.

Hungary – Like the astronomy backdrop. Worthy and dreary. A good tune never hurts a message song, and this has not a good tune.

Georgia – Lily Munster in hotpants, crossed with a bit of Hawkwoman. Thumping rock chick drama though. great drums. Striking and a great performance.

Azerbaijan – I hate distracting mimes. The singer thinks he’s Neo in the Matrix. He’s not bad actually, but it’s also worthy and dull.

Russia – Tipped to win despite politics, it’s yet another worthy ballad, but less ploddy and more rousing. A bit shrill for me, I don’t get it’s popularity…

Albania – Another plodding ballad, but this time not worthy. In every sense of the word. I was annoyed this drivel qualified over the fab Denmark in semi 1. So in a strop I called her a shrieking harpy. I suppose I should revise that as it was a bit unfair and I was in a bad mood…

Italy – Il Divo. There are so many of these handsome young male operatic/pop crossover groups on the hotel circuit these days, it’s a virtual Italian industry. Great singers though, they piss over half the so-called singers in the competition. fab!

My rating on the night:

1.Belgium (4th)
2.Sweden (1st)
3.Latvia (6th)
4.Australia (5th)
5.Italy (3rd – or 1st in the televote only, yes they wuz robbed by the panels!)
6.UK (24th)
7.Germany (26th Nul points!)
8.Norway (8th)
9.Israel (9th)
10.Georgia (11th)
11.Serbia (10th)
12.Montenegro (13th)

So how did the others do?
Russia (2nd)
Estonia (7th)
Azerbaijan (12th)

That is officially the most in-tune I have ever been with Eurovision, and UK itunes sales seem to agree with the results, with the notable exception of Italy who are much lower.

My 1974 Charts – June


A blurred American Museum 1974 photo, near Bath. I still have the can of uncooked popcorn we bought and never used. Ewwww!

4th June 1974

O level GCE’s drawing to a close, lots of radio listening still, and summer days were here. I had a new friend start at the school, Ian Galloway, who just seemed to rub everyone the wrong way as new boy, but he more or less latched onto me as he lived down the road from us and was into music. I even got him to do a chart in July, but that’ll be a bonus alternative chart to mine then. Ooooh!

In music, Elton’s B side finally topped my chart after yo-yoing up and down randomly as I got to hear it (or not) on radio. Bennie And The Jets is still fab, and it was his second number one (Crocodile Rock being the first). Keeping off The Monkees at 2, it also knocks R. Dean Taylor down prematurely (under my old chart rules that would still be topping). Ronnie Lane goes Top 5, something he’d managed once with the Faces (Stay With Me), and Roy Wood’s album track entry from the start of the year finally gets a single release and enters at 9, bagpipes and all.

Mouth & Macneal go up to 10, thus giving Eurovision 1974 3 top 10 hits. Not to be repeated until well into the 21st century either! The gorgeous Laughter In The Rain is new at 21 for Neil Sedaka, which gave him a new lease of life in the states in 1975 (he was UK based at this time). New also, Mott’s final hit of note, the rather mellow Foxy Foxy; Hudson-Ford’s final hit the very mellow Floating In The Wind; Cher’s Train Of Thought following up a chart-topper, new act Christopher Rainbow with a good (flop) unusual single vocally. Haven’t heard it for 40 years, hoping youtube will help me. 10CC, of course, sneak in at 30 with the very classic Wall Street Shuffle, a song for our times being as it’s a bitter searing attack on bankers greed. See, even pop stars knew it to be a truism, just the equally greedy politicians who felt that people dealing in greed and power were perfectly fine to regulate themselves and do as they please. Should have listened to Godley, Creme, Gouldman and Stewart. 10CC were serious artists, musically versatile and inventive, but having a sense of humour in music (as they often did) really does you no favours with the critics.

1 ( 38 ) BENNIE AND THE JETS Elton John
2 ( 4 ) I’M A BELIEVER The Monkees
3 ( 1 ) THERE’S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE R. Dean Taylor
4 ( 9 ) THE POACHER Ronnie Lane
6 ( 2 ) THE MAN IN BLACK Cozy Powell
7 ( 7 ) SUMMER BREEZE The Isley Brothers
8 ( 8 ) THE IN CROWD Bryan Ferry
10 ( 20 ) I SEE A STAR Mouth and MacNeal

11 ( 5 ) THE STREAK Ray Stevens
12 ( 6 ) CENTRAL PARK ARREST Thunderthighs
13 ( 13 ) BAND ON THE RUN Paul McCartney & Wings
14 ( 23 ) BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU’VE GOT William De Vaughan
15 ( 15 ) BEACH BABY First Class
16 ( 17 ) OOH I DO Lynsey De Paul
17 ( 11 ) HEY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Showaddywaddy
18 ( 10 ) AMERICA David Essex
19 ( 12 ) JUDY TEEN Cockney Rebel
20 ( 16 ) LOSE TO LOVE AGAIN Melanie

22 ( 22 ) MONKEES THEME The Monkees
23 ( 18 ) WATERLOO Abba
24 ( 29 ) IF YOU’RE READY (COME GO WITH ME) The Staple Singers
25 ( 19 ) GO (BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART) Gigliola Cinquetti
26 ( NEW ) FOXY FOXY Mott The Hoople
27 ( NEW ) SOLID STATE BRAIN Christopher Rainbow

31 ( 21 ) ROCK ‘N’ ROLL WINTER Wizzard
32 ( 14 ) THE LOCOMOTION Grand Funk Railroad
33 ( 24 ) I’M IN LOVE Aretha Franklin
34 ( 26 ) SUGAR BABY LOVE The Rubettes
35 ( 25 ) THE BOOGIE MAN The Jackson 5
36 ( 28 ) GETTING OVER YOU Andy Williams
37 ( 27 ) THE JARROW SONG Alan Price
38 ( 30 ) THE SHOW MUST GO ON Three Dog Night
39 ( NEW ) I WON’T LAST A DAY WITHOUT YOU The Carpenters
40 ( NEW ) GUILTY The Pearls


11th June 1974

Oldies dominate the Top end if the chart (and elsewhere) as the Monkees get to the top with I’m A Believer, while in at 2 was the record that won the Radio 1 All-time listeners poll earlier in the year. Reissued on the back of that, and a hit all over again, Young Girl was a gem, and Gary Puckett a magnificent vocalist. Times change, and Young Girl is regarded as a bit lyrically dodgy these obsessively pc days (it wasn’t then, at all, not least by all the girls who voted for it). I don’t know why, as the singer makes it clear his attraction for the girl who’s chasing him is a no no cos she’s far too young (despite looking all grown up). Surely in these rewriting history days it’s a model to hold up for men to follow! Hey ho, my charts right from the get go have featured oldies. If it’s good it’s good…

William De Vaughan’s divine Be Thankful goes up to 8, Band On The Run finally breaks into the top 10 as a single release happens and Elton drops from 1 (out of the 30) as he’d used up his allotted Top 30 weeks-on-chart quota permitted for non-singles-hits. New in at 13, on one listen, Jim Stafford’s follow-up to Spiders and Snakes (though release still a way off in the UK) My Girl Bill. Elton John reviewed the new singles releases in one music mag and said he was all ready to see one bloke about to ravish another, and then end goes and spoils it! Yes, the charts weren’t QUITE ready yet for a gay relationship song describing two men kissing – they were actually fighting over the same girl cos she’s My Girl, comma, Bill. Funny!

In at 18, future hit-makers Pilot with the fabulous debut single Just A Smile. I seem to be alone in loving this track, but it’s fabulous. Still. It took over a year for a re-release to chart, but I was right from the beginning. So there! The gorgeous, still regarded well, jazzy, sultry Midnight At The Oasis enters for Maria Muldaur at 19, already way higher than the rubbish UK chart peaks for so many great records in 1974. The Jackson 5, meanwhile get their last big hit. In the USA that is, stiffed in the UK, sadly, but the funky Dancing Machine deserved better. Radio 1 didn’t play it, so that was that really in those days. No hit. Theme tune to TV Show Zoo Gang pops in at 23 for Jungle Juice. I say theme tune, actually it’s a cover – the original theme tune was a Paul & Linda McCartney instrumental (TV show had Brian Keith, John Mills, Barry Morse) – by Tony Hiller of Brotherhood Of Man songwriter note. Talking of Paul, another of his songs slides in, all pleasantly countrified, courtesy Anne Murray having her first hit for 2 years – You Won’t See Me, a great Beatles album track. Also a big US hit. Bit of a theme going on here, not one single current new UK chart hit entering. No Lena Zavaroni, Peters & Lee, Cliff, Cassidy, Perry Como for me, sorry!

1 ( 2 ) I’M A BELIEVER The Monkees
2 ( NEW ) YOUNG GIRL Gary Puckett And The Union Gap
3 ( 4 ) THE POACHER Ronnie Lane
4 ( 9 ) GOING DOWN THE ROAD Roy Wood
6 ( 3 ) THERE’S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE R. Dean Taylor
7 ( 6 ) THE MAN IN BLACK Cozy Powell
8 ( 14 ) BE THANKFUL FOR WAHT YOU’VE GOT William De Vaughan
9 ( 13 ) BAND ON THE RUN Paul McCartney & Wings
10 ( 7 ) SUMMER BREEZE The Isley Brothers

11 ( 11 ) THE STREAK Ray Stevens
12 ( 15 ) BEACH BABY First Class
13 ( NEW ) MY GIRL BILL Jim Stafford
14 ( 12 ) CENTRAL PARK ARREST Thunderthighs
15 ( 10 ) I SEE A STAR Mouth and MacNeal
16 ( 27 ) SOLID STATE BRAIN Christopher Rainbow
18 ( NEW ) JUST A SMILE Pilot
19 ( NEW ) MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS Maria Muldaur
20 ( NEW ) DANCING MACHINE The Jackson 5

21 ( 21 ) LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN Neil Sedaka
22 ( 16 ) OOH I DO Lynsey De Paul
23 ( NEW ) ZOO GANG Jungle Juice
24 ( 8 ) THE IN CROWD Bryan Ferry
25 ( 26 ) FOXY FOXY Mott The Hoople
26 ( 28 ) TRAIN OF THOUGHT Cher
27 ( NEW ) YOU WON’T SEE ME Anne Murray
28 ( 17 ) HEY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Showaddywaddy
30 ( 22 ) MONKEES THEME The Monkees

31 ( 1 ) BENNY AND THE JETS Elton John
32 ( 18 ) AMERICA David Essex
33 ( 19 ) JUDY TEEN Cockney Rebel
34 ( 20 ) LOSE TO LOVE AGAIN Melanie
35 ( 23 ) WATERLOO Abba
36 ( 24 ) IF YOU’RE READY (COME GO WITH ME) The Staple Singers
37 ( 25 ) GO (BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART) Gigliola Cinquetti
38 ( 29 ) FLOATING IN THE WIND Hudson-Ford
39 ( NEW ) I CAN’T STOP The Osmonds
40 ( NEW ) ONE MAN BAND Leo Sayer


18th June 1974

Another new number one, and it’s Roy Wood’s reggae bagpipes. I was a huge Roy Wood fan, which explains why this peaked above two much better records (Ronnie Lane at 2 and First Class at 3) who deserved to top my chart more. Anyhoo, it was Roy’s second solo topper, plus 4 with Wizzard, 1 with ELO, and 1 with The Move, for a grand total of 8 in just over 5 years.

10CC meanwhile shuffle up again to 4 for a fourth Top 10 hit, and Pilot and Maria Muldaur join them in the Top 10. Anne Murray starts to catch up on Paul McCartney with one of his old songs, Neil Sedaka cracks the 20 with the gorgeous Laughter In The Rain, and there’s a bunch of familiar names popping in. Gary Glitter gets the highest new entry at 11 with his last UK number one, Always Yours (it’s pretty good, though obviously perma-banned from radio and TV), while Suzi Quatro reckons it’s Too Big at 23. Responses on a postcard…

The Wombles get an unlikely 3rd hit, and change style abruptly, Mike Batt opting for Calypso wombling this time at 25. Another unlikely entry from Rolling Stone Bill Wyman and his Monkey Grip Glue. Sadly, he had to wait another 7 years for a UK solo chart hit. Si Si? Je Suis Un Rock Star..

The Scaffold are back, 5 years since Lily The Pink was in my top 3, keeping up the McCartney presence in the charts (Macca’s brother Mike), with Liverpool Lou, a city I was very familiar with from 1965 through to 1989, even went to two primary schools there. The local pride for Scouse stuff rubs off on non-natives! Meanwhile Albert Hammond gets a re-entry (sort of) of his 2-year-old USA hit classic It Never Rains In Southern California. It’s fab. And finally, those one-hit-Eurovision-wonders Abba decide they want more as Ring Ring rings in at 29, following-up instant Number One Waterloo.

1 ( 4 ) GOING DOWN THE ROAD Roy Wood
2 ( 3 ) THE POACHER Ronnie Lane
3 ( 12 ) BEACH BABY First Class
6 ( 9 ) BAND ON THE RUN Paul McCartney & Wings
7 ( 1 ) I’M A BELIEVER The Monkees
8 ( 2 ) YOUNG GIRL Gary Puckett And The Union Gap
9 ( 18 ) JUST A SMILE Pilot
10 ( 19 ) MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS Maria Muldaur

11 ( NEW ) ALWAYS YOURS Gary Glitter
12 ( 27 ) YOU WON’T SEE ME Anne Murray
13 ( 6 ) THERE’S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE R. Dean Taylor
14 ( 7 ) THE MAN IN BLACK Cozy Powell
15 ( 13 ) MY GIRL BILL Jim Stafford
16 ( 16 ) SOLID STATE BRAIN Christopher Rainbow
17 ( 11 ) THE STREAK Ray Stevens
18 ( 8 ) BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU’VE GOT William De Vaughan
19 ( 20 ) DANCING MACHINE The Jackson 5
20 ( 21 ) LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN Neil Sedaka

21 ( 26 ) TRAIN OF THOUGHT Cher
22 ( 23 ) ZOO GANG Jungle Juice
23 ( NEW ) TOO BIG Suzi Quatro
24 ( 14 ) CENTRAL PARK ARREST Thunderthighs
25 ( NEW ) BANANA ROCK The Wombles
26 ( 25 ) FOXY FOXY Mott The Hoople
27 ( NEW ) MONKEY GRIP GLUE Bill Wyman
28 ( NEW ) LIVERPOOL LOU The Scaffold
29 ( NEW ) RING RING Abba

31 ( 10 ) SUMMER BREEZE The Isley Brothers
32 ( 15 ) I SEE A STAR Mouth and MacNeal
33 ( 22 ) OOH I DO Lynsey De Paul
34 ( 24 ) THE IN CROWD Bryan Ferry
35 ( 28 ) HEY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Showaddywaddy
36 ( 29 ) (SITTING ON) THE DOCK OF THE BAY Otis Redding
37 ( 30 ) MONKEES THEME The Monkees
38 ( 31 ) BENNIE AND THE JETS Elton John
40 ( NEW ) SHE Charles Aznavour



25th June 1974

Another new number one: 10CC’s classic rock track, I still rate this one enormously, hasn’t dated at all and sounds pretty much unlike any other rock band. Crescendo guitars and whopping rhythms and biting lyrics. Brilliant. Keeps off Beach Baby, though, sadly, cos the retro 60’s harmony pop is pure and delightful.

Not much new entry-wise going on so a bit of shuffling, mostly, not quite sure why but if it was nearing term-end-time we may have gone visiting relatives Oop North meaning not so much radio listening (and no reel-to-reel tape listening). Upwards, though, for Maria Muldaur’s Oasis to 4, ahead of Anne Murray’s Beatles cover leaping past Band On The Run. With Zoo Gang at 21 that’s 3 McCartney songs…but’s that not all! Mike Wombles Batt gets his first solo hit (a year ahead of his UK chart debut) with a delightful 1969 cover of Your Mother Should Know – another Macca Beatles track. With his own Wombles at 22, it’s a bit of a Batt n Mac chart!

Paul Da Vinci falsetto’s his way into the charts at 30. Who? Well, he was the actual vocalist on the Rubettes’ Sugar Baby Love, but a session musician infighting strop led to the group and he parting ways, so the Rubettes mimed along for their first single (but became a good songwriting band a few hits down the line) and Paul had his own solo moment in the sun with the very soundalike (to Sugar Baby Love) but fab Your Baby Ain’t Your Baby Anymore. Cher finally chugs her train of thought into the 20, and it was quite a cool state of mind. As opposed to Chris Rainbow’s Solid State Brain which was a little more racing.

Back in at 29, 2 years on, School’s Out – so I’m guessing it was getting radio plays and reissued action cos school was out. For me, that was the end of my 5th year, old enough to leave school, and no plan whatsoever on what I was going to do. Work didn’t appeal much, and my exams promised not so much what with changing schools and all recently. Stay tuned in for results to both after the glorious summer of ’74, when Top Of The Pops and other shows were taken off the air due to strikes at the BBC, and the effect this had on the charts…

2 ( 3 ) BEACH BABY First Class
3 ( 2 ) THE POACHER Ronnie Lane
4 ( 10 ) MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS Maria Muldaur
5 ( 12 ) YOU WON’T SEE ME Anne Murray
6 ( 6 ) BAND ON THE RUN Paul McCartney & Wings
7 ( 1 ) GOING DOWN THE ROAD Roy Wood
8 ( 7 ) I’M A BELIEVER The Monkees
9 ( 8 ) YOUNG GIRL Gary Puckett And The Union Gap

11 ( 16 ) SOLID STATE BRAIN Christopher Rainbow
12 ( 11 ) ALWAYS YOURS Gary Glitter
13 ( 13 ) THERE’S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE R. Dean Taylor
14 ( 14 ) THE MAN IN BLACK Cozy Powell
15 ( 9 ) JUST A SMILE Pilot
16 ( 19 ) DANCING MACHINE The Jackson 5
17 ( 17 ) THE STREAK Ray Stevens
18 ( 21 ) TRAIN OF THOUGHT Cher
19 ( 23 ) TOO BIG Suzi Quatro
20 ( 20 ) LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN Neil Sedaka

21 ( 22 ) ZOO GANG Jungle Juice
22 ( 25 ) BANANA ROCK The Wombles
23 ( 18 ) BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU’VE GOT William De Vaughan
24 ( 24 ) CENTRAL PARK ARREST Thunderthighs
25 ( 26 ) FOXY FOXY Mott The Hoople
26 ( 29 ) RING RING Abba
29 ( NEW ) SCHOOL’S OUT Alice Cooper

31 ( 15 ) MY GIRL BILL Jim Stafford
32 ( 27 ) MONKEY GRIP GLUE Bill Wyman
33 ( 28 ) LIVERPOOL LOU The Scaffold
34 ( 31 ) SUMMER BREEZE The Isley Brothers
35 ( 32 ) I SEE A STAR Mouth and MacNeal
36 ( 33 ) OOH I DO Lynsey De Paul
37 ( 34 ) THE IN CROWD Bryan Ferry
38 ( 35 ) HEY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Showaddywaddy
39 ( 38 ) BENNIE AND THE JETS Elton John
40 ( NEW ) DIAMOND DOGS David Bowie

Eurovision 2014 – Copenhagen


Tick Tock. That hamster-wheel is very distracting which is a shame as the hot singer should be getting all the attention. If looks were points she’d run away with it tonight. Sexiest performance of the night, from both man in wheel and singer. Shame about the shrillness of the singing. It’s OK – 70


Cheesecake. More a boyband shuffle than a proper song. I say boyband, looks a bit tired and emotional the lead singer. If haircuts were points….last place. It’s fairly bland. Should have changed the title to Beefcake, would’ve got the gay vote. 50


Here’s another distraction. Girl on swing really not needed on a slow ballad. The singer’s very pretty and the frock isn’t as ridiculous as we’ve come to expect these days. In a competition with so many strong ballads this sounds dull. Very dull. Somnambulant. 40


Pollopunk, a besuited quirky band. Lively, what a relief after the dreary ones so far. Starts off well, then goes all nursery rhyme, in sound and in lyric. I think a 7-year-old must have written it! Colourful and energetic though. 75


Carl’s not a professional singer, apparently. Has an Indie whiney credibility to it, and black is so slimming. Not a chance in hell of winning, but it’s sort of sweet in a depressing way and picks up as it goes along. Best so far. 80


Paula & Ovi are back. I absolutely loved their 2010 song (came 3rd). This is also about the best dance track this year. This one’s not as good, the verses are a bit blah, but the chorus is anthemic. Sort of half a great record. OVI needs a shave. 85


MP3. One of the faves. Nice lights. Huge bags under the eyes make me wonder if he “parties” too hard. First minute is dreary. Second minute is dramatic. I’m sure there’s a song in there amongst all the passion. He’s not a great singer though. 82


Oh no not skaters again! He’s a bit suave. Like the violins. Another dreary first minute upping the passion half-way through. So many half-songs this contest. Shame cos the last minute is pretty good. 78


Ethic Polish rapping. Odd mixture. Points deducted for sexual innuendo with the milkmaid butterchurning pumping and pouting and bosoming. A bit shouty. Slavik girls seemingly a bit slutty and proud of it. good for them. 65


Another blokey Greece entry, at odds with most entries. Thank goodness! Pogoing dance, great riffs, catchy song, good-looking rapper. This could be a shock winner with so many ballads. Great. 90


Conchita. Beards very fashionable with lads apparently. This ballad is brilliant, dramatic, great singer, great performance. Good enough to be a movie theme. I love this and hope it’s getting points from the Eastern Block. 95


accordian oompah lumbering crossed with Pink-styled pop. It’s not actually bad, it’s just not very exciting or moving and falls in the middle a bit. 68


She keeps trying to get in Eurovision. Good thing too, this is a great song. A real fave for weeks with the Euro fans. It’s classy and builds properly, not drearily. Good singer, well on a par with Austria, could well pip them to the post. 93


As unpredictable as ever, is France. Ripping off big French act Stromae this one. Not so endearing this year though, a bit of a non-song, though the performance is fun and the group lively and entertaining. 55


Didn’t we just have twins? Oh, sisters…? Nice dresses, the hair-twining is a bit naff, the see-saw annoying, and the song very competent and does all the right things yet oddly leaves me a bit under-whelmed, even though they can sing fine and look pretty. 83


Caesar-fashions back in Italy it seems. Laurel-tastic. I like feisty Italian divas and rock, this rocks along nicely but isn’t memorable as a song. Sounds great though. 81


flute! Round and round again, crikey she’s got wide hips. Oh it’s the dress! good song, very memorable, no cheesy bits. Good singer, not bad at all. 88


Pretty boy rock, a bit 2006 though they’ve got the Coldplay wooh oh’s in there. It’s not bad but the song isn’t brilliant, though the energy is and the actual instruments are most welcome. 79


Ruth! She was one on my fave x faxtor acts, an actual good singer. Good to see her popping up again. She always did like an anthem, and whaddya know she’s written one. In a normal year this would stand out as a great ballad. This year though it’s overshadowed. 84.5


Whistle-tastic. Uptempo chuntering folkrock, again I love the sound, and again there’s not much of a songtune in there, but it’s sounds different, and fresh. 82.5


Running, a great club dance tune, that’s normally the default position for Eurovision, but not this year. I like his voice and frills-free presentation. Slap the dancers though. 89


Barlow and Sons, as everyone has commented. He really should have changed his T shirt since the semis. It’s sweet but it’s not a winner. 83.5


He’s short enough to be Bruno Mars, actually. It’s a knowing lyric, and a catchy chorus, should do well. The crowd singing along won’t hurt either! 84


Country duet, classy, great singers great song. He’s got great eyes, and I LOVE this. I want it to come second after Molly! Sometimes less is more, no gimmicks needed. 98


Finally through to the final, Valentina gets a hurrah for trying above and beyond. I suspect this got through on the jury votes, feeling sorry for her. Still, she’s enjoying herself, bless. 45


Ohh she’s a bit nervous, not a good sign. Dress, not sure, but her voice is gorgeous as she gets into it. I got tingles down the spine! One of the best eurovision songs ever. Honest! I hope it does well. 100

1. UK
2. The Netherlands
3. Austria
4. Sweden
5. Greece
6. Hungary
7. Slovenia
8. Romania
9. Spain
10. Denmark

Greatest Eurovision Winners & Losers

Eurovison is an institution dating back to the 50’s. Ive been watching since 1967, the classic year was Abba’s winning 1974 when the Top 4all made the UK Top 20, but it’s reached it’s peak years with the expansion of countries entering since 2004, and two semi-finals. Great stuff!


1. Non Ho L’Eta Per Amarti – Gigliola Cinquetti

2. Waterloo – Abba

3. Fairytale – Alexander Ryskind

4. Wonderful Dream – Anne-Marie David

5. Euphoria – Loreen

6. Only Teardrops – Emmelie de Forest

7. Hallelujah – Milk & Honey

8. Believe – Dima Bilan

9. Rise Like A Phoenix – Conchita Wurst

10. Love Shine A Light – Katrina & The waves

11. Running Scared – Ell & Nikki

12. Puppet On A String – Sandie Shaw

13. Come What May – Vicky Leandros

14. Nocturne – Secret garden

15. Boom Bang A Bang – Lulu

16. Ding A Dong – Teach-In

17. All Kinds Of Everything – Dana

18. Un Banc, Un Arbre, Une Rue – Severine

19. The Voice – Eimar Quinn

20. Satellite – Lene


1. Eres Tu – Mocedades

2. Divine – Sebastien Tellier

3. Children Of The Universe – Molly

4. Beg Steal Or Borrow – The New Seekers

5. Go (Si) – Gigliola Cinquetti

6. Calm After The Storm – The Common Linnets

7. Rockefeller Street – Getter Jaani

8. Playing With Fire – Paula Seling & Ovi

9. Power To All Our Friends – Cliff Richard

10. No No Never – Texas Lightning

11. Knock Knock Who’s There – Mary Hopkin

12. Jack In The Box – Clodagh Rodgers

13. Love City Groove – Love City Groove

14. Love Will Set You Free – Engelbert Humperdinck

15. In A Moment Like This – Chanee & Evergreen

16. Congratulations – Cliff Richard

17. Let Me Be The One – The Shadows

18. I See A Star – Mouth & MacNeal

19. L’Amour Est Bleu (Love Is Blue) – Vicky Leandros

20. Ooh Ah Just A Little Bit – Gina G